If It's Noon In NYC, What Time Is It In Oslo?

Making a phone call takes on a whole new meaning in the comic opera that surrounds the NY senatorial seat (extra wide?) being vacated by The Hillster. Instead of a PT-Boat lapel pin, Sweet Caroline can have an iPod lapel pin. She can take robocalls to a whole new level; Lily Tomlin as Ernestine can record a message to vote Kennedy (snort snort). If this is (fair & balanced) telephony, so be it.

[x BorowitzReport]
Caroline Kennedy Asks To Be Time’s Person Of The Year in '09: Places Phone Call To Magazine’s Editor
By Andy Borowitz

Caroline Kennedy would like to be considered Time magazine's Person of the Year for 2009 and has let the magazine's editor know of her interest in the honor, aides to Ms. Kennedy confirmed today.

While some observers considered Ms. Kennedy's bid to be premature, especially since 2009 has not officially begun, aides to the New York senatorial aspirant said that it reflected her view that 2009 will be a very big year for her.

"I think Caroline's calling Time magazine and asking to be put on the cover shows just what a tireless worker she is," said cousin Kerry Kennedy. "When she really wants something, she's not afraid to roll up her sleeves and make a phone call."

Her cousin said that having witnessed Caroline's work ethic, she has no doubt that she is deserving of Time's highest honor: "I can't tell you how many times she's gotten the wrong number, been put on hold, or had calls dropped altogether."

In addition to the Person of the Year honors, Kerry Kennedy said that Caroline had also expressed an interest in next year's Nobel Peace Prize.

"That's a call she hasn't made yet," Ms. Kennedy said. "She has to figure out the time difference in Oslo."

[Andy Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. He is the author of five humor books, including The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers, a 2005 finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor. His most recent book is The Republican Playbook. Borowitz is a magna cum laude graduate of Harvard College, Class of 1980.]

Copyright © 2008 BorowitzReport.com

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