It's that time of year when holiday music is played ad nauseum throughout the land. However, while this blog knows the tune, the lyrics are appropriate to this troubled, terrible world that we inhabit. In fact, this blog is striking a blow against the Faux (News) "War on Christmas." In the best holiday spirit, this blog salutes Faux News with an upthrust middle finger.
In fact, the three upthrust middle fingers are for Faux News, Dumbos, and Morons everywhere! If this is a (fair & balanced) holiday greeting, so be it.
[x Versus]
The Reindeer Sing
A Parody By Marcy Shaffer
Arranged by Greg Hilfman
Based upon "Hark The Herald Angels Sing"
MARK THE PERIL REINDEER FIGHT
IN THE AIR, ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT
EVERYWHERE WE MOBILIZE
THERE ARE NO MORE FRIENDLY SKIES
TERRORISTS PREP RPG'S
RARE OR WEAPONIZED DISEASE
BLITZEN, DANCER, AND OUR FLEET
FRITZIN' THAT SANTA'S PACKING HEAT
HITS A NERVE OF REINDEER STRESS
WHAT WE MUST SWERVE
IT'S SUCH A MESS
ARCTIC LIFE WAS OH SO NICE
WARMTH AMID THE SNOW AND ICE
MRS. CLAUS'S CHRISTMAS SCENE HOUSE
IS A RED HOUSE …
AND A GREENHOUSE
WHICH MAY MELT ALL THOSE WHO FROZE
AND HAVE YOU FELT RUDOLPH'S NOSE
SO WE GO FROM COLD TO COOLED
AS WE NORTH POLE'D
BECOME NORTH POOL'ED.
GRIM, THE STATE OF REINDEER STRESSED
IMMINENT FATE:
REMAIN DEPRESSED
DARKLY DEEP WE REINDEER THINK
SO WE KEEP A REINDEER SHRINK
AND MASSEUSE, ON FULL-TIME CALL
PROZAC USE UP OVERALL.
WE COULD QUIT, BUT WHO'D DELIVER?
WHO'D COMMIT TO BE THE GIVER?
YULETIDE DRIVE: OUR SACRED TRUST
BUT TO SURVIVE, WE MUST ADJUST
STARK CONSULTANTS TO ADDRESS
ALL THE TUMULT THAT WE ASSESS
HARK, THE SHOCKS OF REINDEER STRESS
WE ARE IN TALKS WITH UPS
Janis Liebhart — Lead Vocal, Background Vocals
Greg Hilfman — Music Director & Arranger
VERSUS parodies are written by Marcy Shaffer, whose professional writing experience includes television, film, lyrics, verse and… musical parody. VERSUS is co-produced by Russ Meyer, a private equity veteran whose industry expertise includes financial services as well as entertainment. Shaffer is an attorney-cum-parodist (Roll over Stephan Pastis!) and her partner, Russ Meyer, received his MBA from Stanford University. Shaffer writes the words and Meyer counts the beans.]
℗ © 2014 The Meyer Shaffer Company
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License..
Copyright © 2014 Sapper's (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves
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