The Once Was A Blogger From Nantucket..., Yada Yada Yada

The proprietor of this blog,
Tends to go whole hog,
When writing about Dumbos,
And other types of Crumbos,
While his readers can't see through the smog.

Or something like that. If this is a (fair & balanced) aabba rhyme scheme, so be it.

[x NY Fishwrap]
Schott's Vocab — Weekend Competition: Limericks
By Ben Schott (and assorted contributors)

This weekend, "Schott’s Vocab" is bowing to the inevitable and soliciting limericks.

Co-vocabularists are invited to submit “Irish Terrors” on any subject in the news, but bonus marks will be awarded if any of the following words are included:

Birthers · Darwin · Surge · Olympian · Swine Flu · Clunker · Gubernatorial · Stimulus · iPhone · Madoff · Google · Blackmail · Uranium · Irony · People’s Republic of China · Extradition · Congress · Wikipedia · Euthanasia

As ever, innuendo is (usually) acceptable; outuendo (sadly) is not.

Schott’s Vocab is splendid because,
Its readers are whip sharp as saws,
Competitions linguistic
(like posting a limerick),
Prove them worthy of hearty applause. — Ben Schott

“Uranium is all the rage;
It’s the “race to the moon” of the age.
We’ve got it ourselves,
But our ‘logic’ compels
to insist that Iran disengage.” — Erikson

“Said Richard to Michael of Limerick,
‘This repeat EU vote makes me simmer, Mick.’
Mick replied, ‘I surmise
They’ll have infinite tries,
So our sovereignty’s not got a glimmer, Rick.’” — Graham Lester

“This evening I felt quite cheered.
Things are not as bad as I feared.
I have no sign of that flu
but I fear something new!
What if some flu fells my herd of gnu?” — Stan

“An Olympian surge in my cranium
Had me scout out a rhyme for uranium
So I searched Wikipedia
And Googled all media
Then with irony hit on ‘Iranium’” — Morris K.

“In the year two-thousand nine,
our populace battled the swine.
I never thought I
would see pigs that could fly
but then swine flu, and still do, all the time.” — Samantha Shokin

“Said the book-burning hockey mom beauty
To the press that she’s always called ‘snooty,’
‘I leave this position
Of my own volition –
Screw gubernatorial duty!’” — The Limerick Fairy

“A Birther from South Carolina
Thought that nothing at all could be fina
Than to prove that Obama
Was born (Oh, the drama!)
In the People’s Republic of China.” — Ashley Hastings

Although it is time to adjourn,
Readers by now will have learned,
The c-column beckons,
For further suggestions,
To this topic we’ll surely return. — Ben Schott

The growing list of limericks is available here.

[Ben Schott, the author of Schott’s Miscellany 2009, is a contributing columnist for The Times. Schott was born in London and graduated from Gonville & Caius College, Cambridge, where he read Social and Political Sciences with a Double First. At Cambridge he was a regular photographer for the university student newspaper Varsity. He writes "Schott’s Vocab" at this link.

Copyright © 2009 The New York Times Company

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Copyright © 2009 Sapper's (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves