Now, W's Other Favorite Journalist: Molly Ivins on Texas Politics!

Oh, fine. I got the dollar amount that a special session of the Texas Legislature costs Texans. I pegged it earlier at $7 million per session. Molly Ivins (W's other least favorite journalist) sets the record straight. Each of the special sessions called to deal with redistricting costs $1.7 million (staff and overhead, principally). So, with two special sessions, the tab is at $3.4 million. With the Democrat walkout in the State Senate, the Republican Leadership will likely call another special session. As Molly tallies the tab, Texas taxpayers will cough up $5.1 million for redistricting and the meter is running. A fourth special session will bring the tab to nearly $7 million. Helluva a deal. The original legislative session dealt with a shortfall of more than $1 billion. The Lone Star State has money to burn. Bring 'em on! We are one step behind California. Banana republics all! Hell, I don't know why Karl Rove and Tom DeLay don't organize death squads. That is the way the opposition is handled in Central America and South America: Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Columbia, Brazil, Chile, and Argentina. As former WHite House Press Secretary Ari Fleisher put it in response to a question about the cost of a war with Iraq: ...The cost of one bullet, if the Iraqi people take it on themselves, is substantially less than that..... We have placed a price on the heads of Saddam Hussein' sons. We have placed a price on the heads of Saddam Hussein. Death squads are not far-fetched. If this be treason, make the most of it.

[x Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

Follow carefully; this is complicated

By Molly Ivins

Creators Syndicate


Oh great, now we have a bunch of Texas Democrats hiding out in Albuquerque (which is very difficult to spell), and I'm still in Austin holding the bag, trying to explain what this particular spate of lunacy in our state is all about. Spare me, Lord.

OK, if I really have to do this deal … see if you can think back to when you were a kid -- 5, 6, 7 -- and you were always getting blamed for something one of your siblings had done, or you didn't mean to knock over something but your old man whopped you for it anyway.

The classic cry from the heart is, "BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Naturally, further on down the line, all of us experience some variant of John F. Kennedy's observation that "life is not fair." Exactly when, where and under what circumstances we give up on expecting life to be fair obviously varies from cancer to KIA to divorce to other of life's more malicious surprises.

Basically, the reason 11 Democratic senators from Texas are on the lam in New Mexico is BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR.

You may think that's childish, but there are some important principles at stake here. Like, you're supposed to play by the rules. And you're not supposed to change the rules in the middle of the game. And then, just a minor point, there is the small matter of democracy.

Starting at ground zero, redistricting -- the drawing of the maps under which politicians run for public office in various districts -- is supposed to take place the year following the decennial Census. In this case, 2001.

Because the Texas House and Senate could not agree that year, the matter went to the courts, as it is supposed to if the Legislature deadlocks. The courts drew the congressional district maps, as they were supposed to, under well-established rules -- and that was that. Redistricting over until 2011.

Then Karl Rove and Rep. Tom DeLay of Sugar Land -- neither of whom has ever been elected to run the state of Texas -- decided to use the new Republican majorities in both houses of the legislature to ram a truly hideous redistricting plan through the legislature without the public hearings required by law.

In the great tradition of artful gerrymandering -- now called Perrymandering in honor of Gov. Goodhair -- this Rove/DeLay map qualifies as a Dadaist masterpiece, with elements of Picasso. It was a beaut. Divided Austin into four districts, one of which ran down to the Mexican border.

To stop that travesty, House Democrats fled to Ardmore, Okla., breaking the quorum necessary to conduct business. End of bill, end of session.

Then Goodhair called them all back for a special session on one item -- redistricting. This time, public hearings were held, and at every one of them citizens showed up to protest vociferously -- the Texas Rangers had to be called in at the McAllen hearing.

The obligatory committee meetings became ever more surreal.

Meetings would be called for 2 p.m. in one location and then start at 7 p.m. in another. People started to call it "hide and seek government."

Citizens stayed to testify until 2 a.m. and were treated contemptuously by the presiding Republicans. Then Senate Democrats, plus the widely respected Republican Sen. Bill Ratliff, stopped the bill under the Senate rule that requires a two-thirds vote to bring up new business. Stalemate. End of first special session.

Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, who presides over the Senate, announced he was ditching the two-thirds rule, and Goodhair promptly called yet another special session. Exit Senate Democrats, busting the quorum in their shop.

It costs the state, which, you may recall, is highly broke, around $1.7 million per special session.

If you look at it another way, it could be considered public campaign financing. See, Tom DeLay can pick up maybe six new Republican votes in Congress under a Perrymandered map at a total cost to the taxpayers of $5.1 million (assuming the D's stick it out in Albuquerque and Goodhair calls yet another special session).

Whereas it would cost the Republicans tens of millions to legitimately elect Republicans under the current districts. So, all Texans are now paying for the privilege of electing more Republicans.

The irony is that the majority of the conservative rural Democrats targeted by the R's are elected out of Republican districts, districts where the majority votes for a Republican president, governor, etc., and a Democratic congressman because they know and like their congressman. Lot of unhappy R's out there.

In the stupefying hypocrisy sweepstakes, I'd like to salute Arlene Wohlgemuth, R-Burleson, for saying, "When we were in the minority, we worked in a bipartisan manner." That would be the same Arlene Wohlgemuth who notoriously killed off dozens of bills in a fit of pique in the infamous "Memorial Day Massacre."

But the palm for hypocrisy goes to Goodhair for his immortal declaration that Democrats are harming the poor children of Texas.

I thought I would upchuck. It was Perry and the R's who insisted on slashing social services, including health insurance for poor children, rather than raise taxes. He now claims the D's are holding up the distribution of a new pot of federal money we just got. He didn't even open the call of the last special session to bills to disburse the money; said it wasn't necessary.

Even in politics, no one gets to lie that bad.

Molly Ivins writes for Creators Syndicate. 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045

© 2003 Fort Worth Star Telegram

One of W's Least Favorite Journalists: Maureen Dowd on W's Gay Makeover

W referred to Mareen Dowd as a cobra and she wrote a column (during the 2000 campaign) ending every paragraph with a hisssssss. Too bad W doesn't have a sense of humor. I wouldn't be in a humorous mood if I was responsible for 250 deaths since I decared that combat had ended in Iraq — wearing a flight suit — aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln in San Diego harbor. If this be treason, make the most of it.

[x NYTimes]

August 3, 2003

Butch, Butch Bush!

By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Let's get it straight. The president and the pope aren't riding the new gay wave.

"I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman," said President Bush last week. "And I think we ought to codify that one way or the other. And we've got lawyers looking at the best way to do that." Trying to add a tolerant note to an intolerant policy, he allowed that he was "mindful that we're all sinners."

Last time I checked, we had separation of church and state, so I don't know why the president is talking about sin, or why he is implying that gays who want to make a permanent commitment in a world full of divorce and loneliness are sinners.

If we follow Mr. Bush's logic, shouldn't we have a one-strike-and-you're-out constitutional amendment: no marriage for gays, but no second marriage for straights who prove they're not up to it?

The Vatican, always eager to erase lines between church and state, warned Catholic lawmakers it would be "gravely immoral" to vote for gay marriage or gay adoption. Such preaching seems tinny coming after revelations about the scope of homosexuality in the priesthood.

Until last week's denunciations, this had been a giddy Summer of Gays. First the Supreme Court blessing. Then Hollywood's raft of gay-themed projects, from J.Lo's lesbian turn in "Gigli" to the Bravo reality shows "Boy Meets Boy" and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

"Queer Eye," the summer makeover hit, on the cover of Entertainment Weekly, features five gay guys who swoop in to give the Cinderfella treatment to unexfoliated straight guys, while scattering catty comments about their grooming and decor, such as, "This place screams women's correctional facility."

Maybe we should pity President Bush, stranded in his 50's world of hypermasculinity as his country goes gay and metrosexual (straight men with femme tastes like facials). Even the uptight Wal-Mart stores have expanded antidiscrimination policy to protect gay employees, and Bride's magazine is offering its first feature on same-sex weddings.

Maybe the president and his swaggering circle should think about a "Queer Eye" makeover. I asked a gay political reporter friend if he could offer some tips:

On the vice president: "I'd love to see Cheney with a pierced ear and a diamond stud. Or in a body-hugging black T-shirt, just for the pure sport of it.

"He needs new eyewear. With his big face and lantern jaw, he should lose those five-pound glasses. There are some fabulous frames out there.

"About his hair, all I can offer is my sincere regrets."

On the defense secretary: "In his own sort of antediluvian way, Rummy is a metrosexual. He works. He may be a warmonger, he may be intemperate, but just about every third woman I know wants him."

When it came to the president's possibilities, he got really excited: "Cowboy boots are fine for a certain kind of saucy backyard barbecue. But wearing them as often as he does, with those big belt buckles in the shape of Texas, it seems like he's trying too hard to prove his masculinity.

"He's definitely on the right track with low-stress weight lifting, but if he really wants a physique for the ages, a little yoga would help uncoil that gunslinger hunch.

"His hair is too tightly clipped. It looks painted on. And he's a huge squinter. The corner of his eyes are starting to look lined. Botox alert!

"He needs to dip into the merciful world of cosmetic products and avail himself of some kind of lip balm or gloss that helps mask the fact that he misplaced his lips somewhere.

"In open-collar shirts, he has a tiny little island of lost chest hair. It is too low to be a shaving oversight and too high to be a peripheral outgrowth of Alec Baldwin chest mat. It's neither fish nor fowl, so he should wax it out of there.

"Everything else about him just shouts `Butch, butch, butch!' But to throw Bush a metrosexual bone, whenever you see him walking off Air Force One with that little furball Barney under his arm, that canine puff of air that most drag queens wouldn't be caught dead with, it's like he's halfway to a Chanel rabbit fur handbag.

"Bush does such a good job of seeming blissfully laid back and vacantly bubbly that he might as well go blond. It might help with California's electoral votes, too."

Copyright © 2003 The New York Times Company

Stupidity Ignores State Boundaries

Wow! Racism in Arkansas? Racism in Wisconsin? Wisconsin Republicans using Arkansas racist humor? Robert M. LaFollette (R-WI) must be weeping. My WI chum — Tom Terrific — sent this item from the Madison fishwrap and I am relieved to see that stupidity is not confined to Texas Republicans. There is enough stupidity to go around. All the way to Washington, DC. This, at time when the NYTimes finds that Bush is still popular among Latinos? Stupidity ignores ethnic boundaries, too. If this be treason, make the most of it.

[x Wisconsin State Journal, Madison, WI]

Racist Poem Appears On Web site for GOP

By David Callender

August 2, 2003

A racist, anti-immigrant poem that led to the resignation of a top state official in Arkansas surfaced recently on the official Web site of the Republican Party of Winnebago County (Wisconsin).

The poem, titled "Illegal Poem," uses broken English to suggest that white Americans are "crazy" to pay for public assistance to illegal Mexican immigrants.

Winnebago County Republican Party officials said Friday that the poem had been placed on the site by a volunteer Webmaster, and they promised to remove it immediately.

"The sentiments and characterizations it makes are certainly not those of the Winnebago County Republican Party," said Ron Montgomery, a member of the county party's board of directors.

County party Chairwoman Michelle Litgens said she didn't know of the poem's existence on the Web site until she was contacted by a reporter.

"Unfortunately, I'm not an Internet-savvy individual," she said.

The poem could not be directly accessed through any of the Winnebago County party's main Web pages. But it could be found through a routine Internet search.

The poem "didn't look to me like it was written in good taste, and I'm the daughter of many, many immigrants," Litgens said.

She said the Web site's content was determined by a volunteer administrator, Troy Schulz of Neenah.

Schulz declined to be interviewed, but in an e-mail to The Capital Times, he wrote that he routinely places all kinds of information on the party's Web site but does not always have time to check its content.

"This is the first instance I have run across where someone had an 'issue' with any of our content," he wrote.

After reading the poem, Schulz wrote, "I can somewhat understand how certain parties could read into this and take offense at it in one way or another. However, ... whoever the original author is, they are clearly not making any sort of specific inference racially."

"I feel that the author's point was most likely to make the reader aware that there are many people who do take advantage of our country's welfare systems in an unfair way. Unfortunately, a great many of those people come here illegally from other countries. This isn't a racial jab. It's a fact."

He added that he removed the poem Friday after receiving two complaints about it.

State Republican Party Director Darrin Schmitz blamed Schulz for the posting.

"The Winnebago County party should hold their Webmaster accountable," he said. "The Winnebago County party did not give permission for the poem to be posted, so it should be removed for its content as well as the fact that it should not have been there in the first place."

The poem can be found on a number of Internet sites, including those of racist hate groups, and appears to date back about three years.

One version of the poem substitutes Kosovar refugees in Britain for Mexican immigrants in the United States.

The poem includes the following lines:

Kids need dentist? Wife needs pills

We get free! We got no bills!

American crazy! He pay all year,

To keep welfare running here.

We think America darn good place!

Too darn good for the white man race.

If they no like us, they can go,

Got lots of room in Mexico.

On Wednesday, the head of Arkansas' emergency government resigned after e-mailing the same poem to employees of his agency.

Although he condemned the content of the poem, Montgomery sought to distinguish between the two cases.

"It's one thing for a government employee on government property to other government employees, and it's another thing for a volunteer to make a mistake by posting something on a Web site," he said.

But the state Democratic Party said the poem was another example of Republicans' insensitivity to minorities. Party spokesman Seth Boffeli noted that the state party recently had to remove a cartoon on Indian gambling that American Indian leaders had denounced as racist.

"Once again, we see Wisconsin Republicans showing very poor taste," he said. "In this poem, they are feeding into the worst racist stereotypes just to make a point on welfare."

Montgomery, who is African-American, fired back: "Everyone who is not being biased knows that the Republican Party is not a racist party. And they should know that racism is not limited to any one party."

Copyright ©, Madison Newspapers, Inc. All rights reserved.