Just when you think — This moment is the worst you;ve ever seen or heard... the next thing you see or hear is even worse. Every sound uttered by the current occupant of the Oval Office or one of his despicable followers is vile, despicable and disgusting. They are the swamp in human form. However leave it to Andy Borowitz to celebrate the folly of follies. If this is (fair & balanced) equivalent of the joke involving a sky diver when his primary and reserve parachutes fail — and you wonder how long before the sky diver hits the ground — the rest of his life, so be it.
[x New Yorker]
Sympathetic Voters Hope To End Melania’s Suffering In 2020
By Andrew (Andy) Borowitz
TagCrowd Cloud of the following piece of writing
One day after Melania Trump pronounced herself “the most bullied person in the world,” millions of American voters vowed to put an end to her suffering in 2020.
In interviews across the country, sympathetic voters promised to do everything in their power to insure that, as of November, 2020, Melania would no longer be the target of the vicious bullying that has made her the most persecuted human on the planet.
“I never realized just how much she was suffering as First Lady,” Carol Foyler, a voter in Lansing, Michigan, said. “It’s up to us as voters to rescue her.”
“It was devastating to learn about the torment Melania has been subjected to,” Harland Dorrinson, a voter in Scottsdale, Arizona, said. “I wanted to reach out to her and say, ‘Hang in there, Melania—in two years, no one will ever bully you again.’ ”
But Tracy Klugian, of Akron, Ohio, echoed the views of many voters by saying that she wished Melania’s ordeal could end “much sooner” than 2020.
“If only this nightmare could be over tomorrow,” she said. “As Melania would say, that would be best.” ###
[Andrew (Andy) Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University (MA).]
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