All Hair, No Brains

Governor Goodhair

[x YouTube/UnSpunwith AnnaZ Channel]
Governor Rick Perry, Constitutional Law Scholar
Austin Tea Party Rally. City Hall, Austin, TX — April 15th, 2009

Again, A. Lincoln said it best: "'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." The Lone Star State has survived a Confederacy of Dunces in the office of Governor of Texas. Some have been more stupid than others, but the tandem of The Dubster (Governor of Texas, 1994-2000) and Goodhair (2000-Present) are the 28th State's version of Dumb and Dumber. If the current Governor of Texas wants secession, let him resign and head Up North where he can roam with the caribou and The Mighty Quinnette. The 49th State has a thriving secessionist movement and they would welcome Goodhair with open arms and plenty of combs and hair mousse.

As an Aggie Yell Leader (Texas A&M University '72) Goodhair probably chanted at antiwar protesters in the late 1960s and the early 1970s: "Love It or Leave It." The same holds true for Goodhair in 2009: "Love The United States of America or Leave It." If this is a (fair & balanced) rejection of treason (and deeply flawed cheerleaders), so be it.

[x iVoryTowerz]
Rick Perry, Texas, And Secession
By Jeff Siegel

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10th argument austin believes chamber coiffure common debate decided didn federal health history houston hutchison inform insisted ivins keep later learn looks mind opposed perry politics probably republican rest rick secede secession several state statements stimulus texans texas thenullification think three-term traditional union unique used view wanted wing wisdom years

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The reason that the late, great Molly Ivins called Texas Governor Rick Perry “The Coiffure” is because she thought his head was pretty much empty under his always impressive hairdo.

Perry, a Republican, demonstrated Ivins’ wisdom this week, when he told a tax protest crowd in Austin that Texas could secede from the union if it wanted. "Texas is a unique place," he said to reporters in Austin. "When we came into the union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that.”

Then, because he is The Coiffure, he spent the rest of the day backtracking and insisting that secession was the last thing on his mind — all the while invoking the 10th Amendment, which has been part of the states’ rights argument since the Nullification Crisis in 1832 (when South Carolina insisted that it could nullify federal laws it didn’t like).

Honestly? Perry probably believes Texas could secede if it wanted to, in much the same way that George Bush believed in "Mission Accomplished." His belief is a reflection of three things:

• His incredibly cloistered world view, in which Perry has very little to do with anyone who isn’t very much like him in politics and socio-economic status. During a legislative debate here several years ago, about whether teachers needed affordable health insurance, Perry said they didn’t. They could get it from their husbands.


• His lack of a grasp of history, which is particularly common among Texans of his political stripe. During his secession comments, he quoted Sam Houston: “Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression." Houston, the first president of the Republic of Texas, opposed secession in 1861 and was forced from office for opposing it.


• What looks to be a bruising GOP primary race for governor in 2010 against U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison. Hutchison is a popular, three-term senator who is seen as more moderate than Perry and who comes from the party’s more traditional Chamber of Commerce wing. Perry’s anti-tax statements, his continual criticism of the Obama administration, and his refusal to accept stimulus money are part of his attempt to secure his base among evangelicals, the Republican right wing and other fellow travelers.

The other thing to keep in mind about all of this is that Texans truly think they are at the center of the universe. The state, as I’ve said many times, is the only one that used to be a country, and this sense of difference still affects what happens here 165 years later. Am I exaggerating when I say Perry probably believes his talk of secession will inform debate in Washington? Probably not by much. ♥

[Based in Dallas, Jeff Siegel is a freelance writer who has written six books and writes magazine articles on a wide variety of subjects. He is also the wine columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and the Advocate neighborhood magazines in Dallas. He also runs the blog The Wine Curmudgeon. His most popular post on this blog is "How the Media Massage the Pet Food Scare."

iVoryTowerz began as an experiment at American University but has since evolved into an independent blog about culture and society. The topic matter ranges from politics to music to films to sports and other vital parts of the American experience.]

Copyright © 2009 iVoryTowerz

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Copyright © 2009 Sapper's (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves