Ilana Wexler for President in 2020!

And a child shall lead them. The Dickster ought to be ashamed of himself, but a war criminal has no shame. Halliburton has no shame, either. Our finest young people are being killed in that hell in hot and dusty place. Halliburton is reaping obscene profits from supplying the troops with grossly overpriced commodities. Ilana Wexler nails the Dickster. The Religious Right should take heed. However, the silence from the Religious Right is deafening. F-bombs aimed at Democrats are not obscene to the Religious Right. May the Dickster have nothing but bad days from now until November 2, 2004. If this is (fair & balanced) disdain, so be it.

[x Associated Press]
Child Says Cheney Needs A Timeout For Cursing

BOSTON -- A 12-year-old girl from California nearly upstaged some long-time Democratic leaders on the second night of the party's convention in Boston.

Ilana Wexler won a speaking role for launching a Web site called kidsforkerry.org. She described Kerry as a "hero to America" and a "great and positive role model."

But she clearly doesn't feel the same way about Vice President Dick Cheney.

Wexler told delegates that she'd heard about Cheney's heated exchange with Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor -- during which Cheney used what the 12-year-old calls "a really bad word." She said if she used that word herself, she'd get a "timeout" -- and she thinks that's what should happen to Cheney.


Ilana Wexler: Cheney Needs A Timeout 

Senate aides said Cheney was upset with Leahy's criticism of alleged impropriety in Iraq military contracts awarded to Halliburton. Cheney is a former CEO of Halliburton.

Leahy responded during a photo session in the Senate chamber by saying the vice president had once called him a bad Catholic.

Cheney is then said to have uttered a profanity directed at Leahy. Cheney replied either "f--- off" or "go f--- yourself," aides said.

Leahy said he was shocked to hear the language on the Senate floor, but added Cheney must have been having a bad day.

Copyright © 2004 by The Associated Press.

Vote Republican: It's Easier Than Thinking!

My flirtation with the Right occurred during the Goldwater interlude. Barry Goldwater (defeated by Lyndon Johnson in the 1964 presidential election) later redeemed my faith when he told the Trickster that the jig was up in 1974 (30 years ago on August 9) and the Trickster mounted government aircraft for the last time for the flight to Loma Linda, California. The explanation for the Rightist supremacy in the United States is threefold:

1. The Right wins the battle of ideas.




2. The Right has a more determined and focused army of activists.




3. The Right is reaping the benefits of long-term changes in U. S. society.

W couldn't carry Barry Goldwater's athletic supporter. If this is (fair & balanced) political commentary, so be it.

[x Mother Jones Magazine]
All the Right Moves: the men from the Economist explain why conservatism won out in America.
by
Michael Kazin

Review of The Right Nation: Conservative Power in America
By John Micklethwait
and Adrian Wooldridge.
Penguin Press.
450 pages.

Approach this book with caution, fellow progressives. It may confirm your worst fear. Two smart Brits who work for The Economist have written a vividly detailed study of why conservatives rule American politics. What is worse, they maintain that the right is likely to dominate for some time, even if the Democrats eke out a victory this fall.

The Right Nation has nothing in common with the crude polemics by the likes of Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter that growl from racks at every airport and mall. Micklethwait and Wooldridge gaze on their American subjects with the skepticism of European agnostics who've grown up in a tidy welfare state. The moralism of the evangelical right makes them shudder, and they mock the hypocrisy of a president who rails against "big government" but has blithely run up a record deficit. A keen grasp of history and demographic trends firms up their prose, which is spiked with the dry wit that seems the birthright of every Oxford graduate. Many Republicans, the authors report, believe high deficits will prevent liberals from enacting future social programs. That logic "is rather like saying that, because your brother-in-law drinks too much, you're going to drink all the alcohol in the house before he visits for the Memorial Day weekend."

All this frames an argument that the most confirmed W-hater should take seriously. In their view, three simple reasons explain why conservatives keep defeating the left: The right wins the battle of ideas, has a more determined and focused army of activists, and is reaping the benefits of long-term changes in American society.

The unlikely figure of William Jefferson Clinton proved an expert witness to the ideological sway of his opponents. "The era of big government is over," declared the only Democratic president to win re-election since FDR. Clinton accomplished two historic feats that conservatives had long demanded—a balanced budget and punitive welfare "reform." But his grand liberal dream to provide every American with medical insurance was a spectacular flop. Do you want a health care system run like the post office? asked the pitchmen for the right. It's a myth that federal largesse goes mainly to lazy and immoral Americans—or ungrateful foreigners. But, after decades of skillful propaganda, most Americans believe this. The golden era when Congress created Medicare and Medicaid, not to mention the National Endowment for the Humanities and the EPA, seems to belong not just to an earlier century but to a different nation.

The men from The Economist appreciate how diverse is the cadre responsible for this sea change. At the top, of course, are white guys in expensive suits, men like Ralph Reed and William Kristol familiar to anyone who watches a Sunday morning talk show. But the authors also introduce pro-life college kids from Colorado Springs who believe conservatism is a benevolent creed, and they identify the many women in Bush's inner circle who've enjoyed the support of right-wing foundations. Rich conservatives, the authors point out, don't really donate more money than do their liberal counterparts in New York and Hollywood. But they target nearly all of it to projects whose sole mission is to advance the right's cause.

The authors' claim that the future smiles on conservatives is more dubious. Micklethwait and Wooldridge show that people who own stocks and homes and attend church tend to vote Republican, and those indicators are rising. Yet, if one deletes piety from the equation, Demo-crats do just as well. Latinos are the wild card in such electoral predictions. The authors predict the upwardly mobile and U.S.-born will shift toward the GOP. But most Latinos toil at working-class jobs and will probably do so for years to come. They are a natural constituency for progressives—if, indeed, the left can take its doctrine of social equality to heart.

And there's the rub. The left can't control demography, but it can build a smarter movement. In 1970, John Mitchell, Nixon's leading henchman, said, "This country is going so far to the right, you are not even going to recognize it." With zeal and an eye for liberal soft spots, conservatives set about fulfilling his prophecy.

Meanwhile, the left fragmented into a variety of worthy causes—from environmental defense to gay and lesbian rights to affirmative action. These fragments have helped make the United States a more humane place. But they forgot that the first rule of democratic politics is to state a few forceful ideas and to make clear how they can benefit the majority. Even Americans who despise the right know exactly what it believes: "family values" and "less government." Since 9/11, conservatives have added the defeat of "Islamo-fascism" to the agenda. Can progressives unite behind ideas of similar clarity and appeal? Can they rid themselves of a nagging contempt for the unhip, the poorly educated, and the God-fearing? If the left is not a movement of and for working people—blemishes and all—then it has little chance to regain its previous influence.

Micklethwait and Wooldridge conclude their immensely valuable book with a sobering prediction. If Kerry wins, they write, "he will be reduced to trying to reconstruct the status quo ante, cutting back on tax cuts for the super-rich and repairing relations with foreigners (up to a point), but generally coping with an agenda dictated by the right." Such a future is not inevitable; as John Mitchell knew, history often has a surprise up her sleeve. But if progressives want to prove the right wrong, they'll have to stop boasting about how enlightened they are and start winning over the heart of America.

Michael Kazin teaches history at Georgetown. A co-author of America Divided: The Civil War of the 1960s, he is currently writing a biography of William Jennings Bryan.

© 2004 The Foundation for National Progress (the Investigative Fund of Mother Jones Magazine)

Don't Mess With John Kelso

John Kelso is a State treasure. His take on most things Austin or Texas is refreshingly warped. Kelso and Ben Sargent (the Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist from Amarillo; graduate of Amarillo College) are the best things about the Austin fishwrap. Since my father was a cab driver for 40 years, I have a weak spot for cab driver stories. In line with Kelso's take on bumper sticker slogans, I saw one today that made me laugh out loud: Drive conservatives crazy: think for yourself. If this is a (fair & balanced) aphorism, so be it.

[x Austin fishwrap]
Hey, lawyers: Don't mess with Texas cabbies
by

John Kelso 

Now here's a case of the big guy messin' with the little guy.

South Austin cab driver Les Ross just got a cease-and-desist letter from a Texas Department of Transportation lawyer over his bumper sticker, "Don't Mess With Texas Women."

The Transportation Department, which is so big that its departmental listings take up 2 1/2 columns in the phone book, says it owns the rights to the slogan "Don't Mess With Texas," which it created for its anti-litter campaign in 1986 and had copyrighted four years ago.

"We do send cease-and-desist letters, which we are obligated to do to protect the logo," said Doris Howdeshell, the director of the department's travel division.

She said the department has sent out about 25 such letters. Among those coming under the department's guns were the University of Texas (for those "Don't Mess With Texas Longhorns" shirts) and Brake Check (for a TV ad).

"Good company; that's good to know. I ought to put a link on my page to Brake Check," said Les, who is a wiseguy. "I'd be glad to cease and desist, but I want a court order that I can frame, you know what I mean?"

Les lives in a "little shack" on West Live Oak Street in South Austin and drives for Yellow Cab. He also makes up bumper sticker slogans when the spirit moves him and sells the bumper stickers from his Web page (www.io. com/~bumper/bumper1. htm) and at various stores around town.

Les is probably most famous for his bumper sticker "Vote Republican. It's Easier Than Thinking." "If Musicians Were Rocket Scientists We'd Be on Pluto" and "South Austin: We're All Here 'Cause We're Not All There" also come to mind.

I'm curious about whether the department can claim the rights to "don't mess with." Those words were used before the department took them over. Remember the song "Don't Mess With Bill," the Motown classic written by Smokey Robinson?

I wonder if the Department of Transportation ever got a nasty letter from Bill or Bill's lawyer?

Remember "Remember the Maine?" Did the Maine ever get sued by the Alamo?

And why is the department messing with a cab driver? The department folks should feel complimented that a fine bumper sticker author such as Les is using their material.

"I don't know if this smells more like First Amendment or copyright infringement," said Les, who came up with the "Don't Mess With Texas Women" bumper sticker four or five years ago. He said he's had about 1,000 of them made up in the past couple of years. He also said that since he got into bumper stickers in the 1980s, he's made diddly on them.

"I'd say under $1,000," Les said. "Your average bum panhandles more than I've made off these things. It's a vanity thing. I just need the attention.

"I give most of 'em away," Les added. "Since this is not the same wording and not the same thought, I don't feel like I'm really violating their trademark copyright."

Which gives me an idea for another bumper sticker: Don't Mess With Texas Cabbies.

John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 512-445-3606 or jkelso@statesman.com.

Copyright © 2004 The Austin American-Statesman

Did I Luck Out In Moving Near Austin, Or What?!?

Earlier this week, the NPR station in Austin ran a piece on Texas Roller Derby. Now, the main New York fishwrap has picked up on the latest craze in the heart of Texas. I take this as a sign that the apocalypse is upon us. If this is (fair & balanced) prophecy, so be it.

[x The New York Times]

In Texas women's Roller Derby, players, like the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers, are unpaid. 
Texas Tough, in Lipstick, Fishnet and Skates
By RALPH BLUMENTHAL

AUSTIN, July 26 - Of course there are rules in Texas women's Roller Derby.

One unwritten rule, more for the audience, goes, "Never, never, ever spill a beer."

Another rule, also aimed particularly at the legions of male fans, says that if a Texas Rollergirl or TXRD Lonestar Rollergirl (there are two leagues, not on speaking terms) slips on beer or whatever and falls in your lap, "You can't take her home unless she says so."

For the skaters, there are rules against fighting and stuff but they are not taken too seriously.

Roller Derby, Texas style - now popping up in cities around the country - is not to be confused with the quaint Depression-era craze that sent marathoners skating off segments marking the mileage between the coasts. Or the periodic revivals marked by the aptly-named 1972 Raquel Welch film "Kansas City Bomber" or the televised RollerJams on TNN from 1999 to 2001.

Since a handful of self-described onetime kiddy rinkrats met at an Austin party and formed the Lonestar league in 2001, offshoots have sprouted in New York, Seattle, Los Angeles, Tucson, Las Vegas, Raleigh, N.C., and the Cayman Islands, among other places. And many more are said to be under way.

Leave it to Austin, which prizes its weirdness, to foster this contagious blend of high performance sport and campy theatrics called not games but bouts, fought on traditional four-wheel skates. And to field the two feuding leagues - the Texas Rollergirls (www.txrollergirls.com) and the TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls, also known as Bad Girl, Good Woman (www.bggw.com).

This is, at the very least, extreme roller skating, heavy on attitude and light on attire, the better to bare breathtaking tattoos. Social scientists may scratch their heads over the emergence of a new form of staged violence by macho women, but to the players, who don't get paid, it's easy to explain: it's fun.

"It's kind of like hockey in lipstick and fishnet stockings," said Lacy Attuso, 27, a computer publicist who goes by the rink name of Whiskey L'Amour. (Whiskey because she drinks it, she said, L'Amour from the Western writer Louis L'Amour.)

A founding member and star of the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers of the breakaway Texas Rollergirls until she was benched with a broken tibia and fibula, she said it took only one bout in 2002 to hook her. "I was instantly smitten," she said from inside an oversize Winnie the Pooh costume she donned to deliver the play-by-play for the Texas Rollergirls at the Playland Skate Center before 1,100 fans on Sunday night. "Girls in leather and fishnet stockings beating the hell out of each other - it was a dream come true."

Others agree. "It's great therapy," said Audra Shimek, 34, a massage therapist and Desert Storm veteran, who skates for the Rollergirls' Hell Marys as Misty Meaner. But she insisted, "I would never hurt somebody; we all know how far we can push each other."

The players are hard to stereotype. "They're 21 to 45, married, single, gay, straight, moms, teachers, every walk of life, tattooed and not," said Melissa Joulwan, 36, a freelance creative director who skates under the name of Melicious for the Hotrod Honeys of the Texas Rollergirls.

The scoring is arcane, sometimes baffling the referees themselves. The two competing teams each field five players: a pivot who sets the pace, three blockers and a jammer who starts in the back and fights her way through the pack, racking up points by lapping teammates and rivals while fending off body blows and shoves. There are four periods broken into two-minute jams and ties are decided by sudden death overtime.


Teams like the Hustlers and Hotrod Honeys field five players; points are won by skating past opponents. 

Though perhaps not as naughty or X-rated as it pretends to be, it is still, many of the women gladly concede, an erotic playground where Barbarella types fill out the action by instigating assaults that everyone insists are real.

The skating injuries certainly are real. "Four months and the stupid bone will not close," said an unhappily sidelined Julie Underwood, 32, a librarian whose broken shoulder took her out of action as Vendetta von Dutch of the Hotrod Honeys. The Lonestar Rollergirls tabulate their collective injuries on their Website: fractured and broken tailbones, broken wrists, broken ankles, countless hangovers - and "two pregnancies."

"I hate to say that but it's a male fantasy thing," said Louisa Brinsmade, 41, who skates as Mau-Mau for the Lonestars's Hellcats in their bouts at the Austin Thunderdome. On the other hand, said her teammate, Sarah Luna, 24, a paralegal and bartender who helped found the Lonestar Rollergirls and now skates as Lunatic, "another woman once proposed to one of our players." The offer was declined.

The Lonestar Rollergirls fractured in April 2003 with members walking out to protest differences with management and an accident that dissidents said was not covered by insurance. Also, the Lonestar skaters favored a banked track while the breakaway players preferred a flat surface.

Both leagues field four teams of similar archetypes, but play is only within each league, a handicap when the same four teams have to keep playing each other.

In addition to the Hotrod Honeys, a girl gang in black and pink; and the Hustlers, 70's divas in purple and silver, the Texas Rollergirls have the Hell Marys, parochial-school girls in red-and-black plaid; and the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers, rodeo sweethearts in blue-and-white gingham.

The Lonestar Rollergirls have the Hellcats, 50's vixens fixated on hotrods and switchblades; the Putas del Fuego, bad ladies with a taste for blood and tequila; the Holy Rollers, bullies of the parochial schoolyard; and the Rhinestone Cowgirls, country -western gals given to chicken-fried violence.

The Texas Rollergirls' semifinals and championships are coming up Sept. 26 and Oct. 24, while the Lonestar Rollergirls have games coming up on Sunday and Aug. 22.

Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company