Today is a great day, when the blogger heard the runoff election news from Georgia and — while not official — it was good news for the Dems (& Dose) and bad news for Moscow Mitch/Mr. Turtle (R-KY). And when the blogger googled "the Loser of the 2020 election," today's cartoon by Chris Britt appeared and this blogger had an "A-Ha" moment. This blogger thought about the Loser's departure from the White House: call Uber or Lyft and put The Loser into the vehicle destined for DC's Greyhound Bus Terminal where The Loser is given a one-way ticket to Miami, FL. The late Woody Gurthrie sang about Herbert Hoover after FDR's first election: "He's gone, He's gone, Thank God, He's Gone." And those words are appropriate for The Loser. If this is a (fair & balanced) farewell to the Worst President Ever, so be it. And, for the last time, this blog doen't have Woody Guthrie, but it has Roy Zimmerman (for the last time) ...
[x YouTube]
"The Liar Tweets Tonight" (Parody of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight")
By Roy Zimmerman and The ReZisters, featuring Sandy Riccardi
[x The New Yorker]
Trump Claims Constitution Invalid Because It Was Signed By Dead People
By Andrew (Andy) Borowitz
TagCrowd Cloud provides a visual summary of the blog post below
Advancing a new conspiracy theory during a rally on Monday, Donald J. Trump claimed that the United States Constitution is invalid because it was signed by dead people.
“All we’re hearing is, the Constitution this and the Constitution that,” Trump said. “I’m telling you, as sure as you’re sitting there, that every person who signed that piece of paper is dead.”
Trump said that he had his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani investigate the signatories to the Constitution, “and he found a scandal bigger than Hunter Biden’s laptop.”
“Their signatures do not match the signatures of any living person,” he said. “Not only are these people dead, but they have been dead for a long, long time. This should never have been allowed to happen.”
In addition to questioning the legitimacy of the dead people’s signatures, Trump claimed that Alexander Hamilton’s “should be thrown out twice.”
“First of all, he’s dead, and second, he wasn’t born here,” he claimed.
Advancing a new conspiracy theory during a rally on Monday, Donald J. Trump claimed that the United States Constitution is invalid because it was signed by dead people.
“All we’re hearing is, the Constitution this and the Constitution that,” Trump said. “I’m telling you, as sure as you’re sitting there, that every person who signed that piece of paper is dead.”
Trump said that he had his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani investigate the signatories to the Constitution, “and he found a scandal bigger than Hunter Biden’s laptop.”
“Their signatures do not match the signatures of any living person,” he said. “Not only are these people dead, but they have been dead for a long, long time. This should never have been allowed to happen.”
In addition to questioning the legitimacy of the dead people’s signatures, Trump claimed that Alexander Hamilton’s “should be thrown out twice.”
“First of all, he’s dead, and second, he wasn’t born here,” he claimed. ###
[Andrew (Andy) Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). See his other books here. Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University (MA).]
Copyright © 2021 The New Yorker/Condé Nast Digital
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