In relief of the dreary Dog Days, Marcy Shaffer and her gang at VERSUS provide a parody for your diversion from the heat and stupidity.
VERSUS parodies are written by Marcy Shaffer, whose professional writing experience includes television, film, lyrics, verse and… musical parody. VERSUS is co-produced by Russ Meyer, a private equity veteran whose industry expertise includes financial services as well as entertainment. Shaffer is an attorney-cum-parodist (Roll over Stephan Pastis!) and her partner, Russ Meyer, received his MBA from Stanford University.
If this is a (fair & balanced) reworking of an already established composition, so be it.
[x Versus]
"That's Not Torture"
To "That's Amore" (Words By Jack Brooks/Music By Harry Warren, 1952)
Parody Lyrics By Marcy Shaffer
DETAINEES: FEAR--
DICK CHENEY'S HERE.
FOR IN HIS SPHERE.
IT'S VERY CLEAR …
WHEN A GUY HITS YOUR EYE
'CAUSE YOUR VALUE IS HIGH?
THAT'S NOT TORTURE.
WHEN WE KEEP YOU FROM SLEEP
'TIL YOU WEEP LIKE BO-PEEP?
THAT'S NOT TORTURE.
BUGS HAVE CHARMS.,
ZIPPING UP YOUR ARMS.
TRIPPING YOUR ALARMS.
OUR GENDARMES WON'T DENY IT.
AND A HOOD.
WHEN IT'S UNDERSTOOD.
CAN BE REALLY GOOD.
SO NO ONE SHOULD DECRY IT.
(OR DEFY IT.)
WHEN WE FLOAT DOWN YOUR THROAT
WHAT WOULD BLOAT UP A MOAT?
THAT'S NOT TORTURE.
OH, WE'RE FROWNIN' BUT CLOWNIN'.
NO DROWNIN' GOES DOWN IN
THIS TOWN.
AND THOUGH, DUDE, WE INCLUDE
THAT YOU'RE VIEWED IN THE NUDE.
JUST FOR SPORT-URE.
SO YOU BLED.
WEREN'T FED.
SINCE YOU AREN'T, SAY, DEAD.
THAT'S NOT TORTURE!
WHEN A GUY HITS YOUR EYE
'CAUSE YOUR VALUE IS HIGH?
THAT'S NOT TORTURE.
WHEN WE KEEP YOU FROM SLEEP
'TIL YOU WEEP LIKE BO-PEEP?
THAT'S NOT TORTURE.
WHEN WE FLOAT DOWN YOUR THROAT
WHAT WOULD BLOAT UP A MOAT?
THAT'S NOT TORTURE.
OH, WE'RE FROWNIN' BUT CLOWNIN'.
NO DROWNIN' GOES DOWN IN
THIS TOWN.
AND THOUGH, DUDE, WE INCLUDE
THAT YOU'RE VIEWED IN THE NUDE.
JUST FOR SPORT-URE.
SO YOU BLED.
WEREN'T FED.
SINCE YOU AREN'T, SAY, DEAD.
THAT'S NOT TORTURE.
THAT'S NOT TORTURE! Ω
[Gary Stockdale - Lead Vocal, Background Vocal
Angie Jarée - Background Vocal
Janis Liebhart - Background Vocal
Greg Hilfman - Music Director]
℗ © 2009 RMSWorks Lyrics © 2009 RMSWorks
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Copyright © 2009 Sapper's (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves