Yesterday, Tom Tomorrow's 'toon had politicos morphing into ghosts and hobgoblins; today, Andy Borowitz of an actual faux news assessment of the recent 11-hour session of The House Select Committee on Benghazi as the Dumbos were baffled by The Hillster's rope-a-dope strategy and couldn't lay a glove on Her Inevitability. Borowitz makes masterful use of political bromides in this imagined thank-you to the Dumbos/Teabaggers who landed not a single blow during the entire day-long event. If this is (fair & balanced) comedic Kabuki Theater, so be it.
[x New Yorker]
Clinton Thanks Benghazi Committee For Invaluable Service To Her Campaign
By Andy Borowitz
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In an official statement on Friday morning, former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton thanked the House Select Committee on Benghazi for what she called an “invaluable service to my Presidential campaign.”
In contrast with the adversarial tone of much of Thursday’s hearings, Clinton’s statement was characterized by fulsome gratitude as she singled out the Republicans on the committee for praise.
“For months, my campaign has been rocked by difficulties and doubts,” she said. “Yesterday, with your help, all of that changed.”
Clinton gave special thanks to the committee chairman, Representative Trey Gowdy, Republican of South Carolina, who she said “went far beyond the call of duty to help get my candidacy back on track.”
“One lingering question about me as a politician has been whether people like me enough to vote for me,” she said. “I want to thank you, Trey Gowdy, for making me seem likable.”
The statement ended on an emotional note, in which Clinton said that, if elected, she “will never forget” the Benghazi committee’s role in winning her the White House. “You were there for me when I needed you,” she said. Ω
[Andy Borowitz is the creator the "Borowitz Report," a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz is a magna cum laude (English) graduate of Harvard College.]
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