In 2018, It's All A Matter Of Whose -Ox- A$$ Is Being Gored

Handy Andy Borowitz goes right to the heart of the matter — the Reality/WWE-Show has become a limitless farce. It would be impossible for a rational person to describe this disgrace as normal. The clown act seems to go on and on and on.... If this is the (fair & balanced) way to report about "crazy town," so be it.

[x New Yorker]
Trump Suddenly Expresses Deep Concern About Conditions In Nation’s Prisons
By Andrew (Andy) Borowitz

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In a sudden departure from his previous views on incarceration, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that he was “very, very concerned” about conditions in the nation’s prisons.

“These are very, very bad places,” Trump told reporters. “These are not places you would want to be.”

Trump criticized the “total lack of amenities” in the country’s federal penitentiaries, calling those prisons “a disgrace.”

“If you are locked up in one of those places, there is no TV in your cell,” he said. “And good luck getting a Diet Coke. You can yell and yell and no one will go get you one. It’s a very sad, very sick situation.”

In addition to blasting the conditions inside the nation’s prisons, Trump also questioned whether “putting someone in jail for one or two felonies serves any purpose.”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately,” he said. “Prison solves nothing." ###

[Andrew (Andy) Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University (MA).]

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