A Mountain Of Accountin'? Or, Figures Lie & Liars Figure

Ol' Marcy Shaffer has hit another winner with her parody of bailouts and the TARP (Troubled Asset Relief Program). Move over WPA, CCC, TVA, and all the rest. Here comes TARP! Is it the first of the alphabet programs of GD2 (Great Depression 2)? Where is all the money? If this is (fair & balanced) hocus-pocus, so be it.

[x YouTube/VersusPlus Channel]
"Go Tell It In Accountin'"
To "Go Tell It On The Mountain" (Traditional)
Parody Lyrics By Marcy Shaffer

GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
THOUGH WE OWE BILLIONS HERE AND THERE.
SO DEADBEATS ARE A-MOUNTIN'.
AND FASB* WAS IGNORED.
GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
BONUSES STILL, OH, WE WILL SHARE!
THIS FED IS LIKE A FOUNTAIN!
SO WE WILL BE RESTORED!

[*FASB=Financial Accounting Standards Board]

WE USED TO BE SO CAUTIOUS.
AND RISK-AVERSE TO BOOT.
REDUCED TO GETTING NAUSEOUS.
AS OTHERS MADE THE LOOT.
THEN LAUNCHES OFF OUR HAUNCHES.
INSPIRED US TO SEE.
IN PAUNCHES OF TRANCHES:
A SWAP-PORTUNITY!

GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
THOUGH WE OWE BILLIONS HERE AND THERE.
SO DEADBEATS ARE A-MOUNTIN'.
AND FASB WAS IGNORED.
GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
BONUSES STILL, OH, WE WILL SHARE!
THIS FED IS LIKE A FOUNTAIN!
SO WE WILL BE RESTORED!

THE MONEY WAS ASTOUNDING.
WE LIVED LIKE FEUDAL LORDS.
THEN SUBPRIME TOOK A POUNDING.
PRECLUDALING REWARDS.
THE FIRM BEGAN TO STAGGER.
THE WORM BEGAN TO TURN.
NOT ALWAYS DO YOU SWAGGER
WHEN YOU'RE DEEMED A GOING CONCERN.

GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
THOUGH WE OWE BILLIONS HERE AND THERE.
SO DEADBEATS ARE A-MOUNTIN'.
AND FASB WAS IGNORED.
GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
BONUSES STILL, OH, WE WILL SHARE!
THIS FED IS LIKE A FOUNTAIN!
SO WE WILL BE RESTORED!

AS DERIVATIVE DERIVERS.
THAT EVERYONE HAS CUSSED.
WHY ARE WE SURVIVORS
WHEN RIVALS BIT THE DUST?
WELL, HERE YOU FIND THE KIND OF BIND
THOSE DEREGULATORS MISS.
WE'RE SO INTERTWINED THAT OUR UNWIND
COULD MAKE THIS
THE ABYSS.

GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
THOUGH WE OWE BILLIONS EVERYWHERE.
WE'RE HEADED TO A MOUNTAIN
HOTEL THAT WE'VE ADORED.
GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
WE HAVE GOODWILL WE CAN'T IMPAIR.
THIS FED, IT IS OUR FOUNTAIN.
AND WE WILL BE RESTORED!

GO TELL IT IN ACCOUNTIN'!
BONUSES STILL, OH, WE WILL SHARE!
THIS FED IS LIKE A FOUNTAIN!
SO WE WILL BE RESTORED!

[Gary Stockdale - lead vocal; background vocal
Scottie Haskell - background vocal
Janis Liebhart - background vocal
Greg Hilfman - music director]

℗ © 2008 RMSWorks LLC. Lyrics © 2008 RMSWorks LLC.

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Tom Tomorrow, Not "The Invisible Hand," Gives Us The Finger This Week!

Classic movie/radio serial episodes ended with: "Come back/tune in next time and see/hear the thilling conclusion to...." Last week, Tom Tomorrow promised "Part II" to his riff on "The Invisible Hand" of the market. This week, we are treated to "Part I" of the "2008 In Review." WTF? Last week's "Invisible Hand: Part I" is followed by this week's " 2008 In Review: Part I"! This blogger learned, at the knee and other low joints of Miss Larue (his first-grade teacher), that I/1 is followed by II/2, then III/3, and so on. So, "The Invisible Hand" lives up to its name and disappears to be replaced by "2008 In Review." If this is (fair & balanced) serial disillusionment, so be it.

[x Salon]
This Modern World — "2008 In Review: Part I, Goodbye To All That"
By Tom Tomorrow (Dan Perkins)

Click on image to enlarge.

Tom Tomorrow/Dan Perkins

[Dan Perkins is an editorial cartoonist better known by the pen name "Tom Tomorrow". His weekly comic strip, "This Modern World," which comments on current events from a strong liberal perspective, appears regularly in approximately 150 papers across the U.S., as well as on Salon and Working for Change. The strip debuted in 1990 in SF Weekly.

Perkins, a long time resident of Brooklyn, New York, currently lives in Connecticut. He received the Robert F. Kennedy Award for Excellence in Journalism in both 1998 and 2002.

When he is not working on projects related to his comic strip, Perkins writes a daily political weblog, also entitled "This Modern World," which he began in December 2001.]

Copyright © 2008 Salon Media Group, Inc.

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