Thursday, August 06, 2015

What's That Strange Sound? Why It's 10 Dumbos Howlin' At The Moon!!!!

Use any search engine for "2016 GOP Debate Drinking Game" (without quotes) and see what appears on your screen. However, the others that appear lack Gonzo Matt's snark as he mocks predictable Dumbo debate-zingers. As for this blogger, his flatscreen TV will remain dark during the 2016 Dumbo Debate I. So, for those who want to sit through the debate, here are some suggestions to deaden the pain. If this is (fair & balanced) first phase of dipsomania, so be it.

[x RS]
The Official GOP Debate Drinking Game Rules
By Gonzo Matt (Matt Taibbi)

Tag Cloud of the following piece of writing

created at

On Thursday, August 6th, in Cleveland, Fox is hosting the first of many debates between candidates for the Republican Party presidential nomination.

Actually there will be two debates. One is for the top 10 poll performers, a list that has now been confirmed to include frontrunner and King of All Media Donald Trump, along with Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, Mike Huckabee, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Chris Christie and John Kasich.

The second tier of seven candidates – what Trump would call "losers" – now includes Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki and Jim Gilmore. They will be debating at a kiddie table separately from the other candidates, and will reportedly be euthanized by a veterinarian after the event.

Listed below are rules for the GOP debate drinking game. Please do not drink yourself or anyone else to death. The game can be played without Jagermeister, but it's not recommended. I will be live-Tweeting during the event.


1. Donald Trump mentions his wealth, or how smart he is.

2. A candidate mentions Benghazi

3. A candidate says, "This president..."

4. A candidate whines about not getting called on enough.

5. Someone promises to "take America back."

6. Trump interrupts someone by saying, "Excuse me, let me answer that…"

7. Anyone mentions Hitler, Nazis or Neville Chamberlain. Includes related imagery, e.g. "ovens."

8. The crowd cheers a racist/bigoted statement by a candidate.

9. A candidate mentions his poor/hardscrabble upbringing, or a parent who "worked every day of his life."

10. A candidate talks about "stopping Hillary Clinton."

11. Anyone warns the U.S. is becoming Greece.

12. Trump refers to himself in the third person.

13. Anyone invokes St. Ronald Reagan.

Drink EVERY time a candidate:

14. Claims a positive relationship with a minority. Also known as the, "Some of my best friends are…" rule.

15. Tries to speak Spanish

16. Tries to warm up to the Ohio crowd with an awkward LeBron shout-out.

Drink EVERY TIME you hear the word(s):

17. "I'm not a scientist."

18. "You can keep your doctor."

19. "ACORN."

20. "The war on Christians."

21. "Thug."

22. "Right here in Ohio."

23. "Culture of dependency."


24. "Kenya."

25. "All Lives Matter." Ω

[As Rolling Stone’s chief political reporter, Matt Taibbi's predecessors include the likes of Hunter S. Thompson and P.J. O'Rourke. Most recently, he has written The Divide (2014). Taibbi received a BA (journalism) from Bard College.]

Copyright © 2015 Rolling Stone

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