It's been an all-time bizarro week at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW in Washington, DC. Hope Hicks, after taking heat in a hearing before the House Intelligence Committee, admitted to telling "a couple of white lies" in the line of duty, resigned as White House Communications Director. And that was before the current occupant of the Oval Office flipped on his pledge to follow a hard-line policy on guns after a visit to the Oval Office by the #1 lobbyist for the NRA. The Olympics diving competition (any year) had not seen so many back flips by participants. Of course, the current occupant did not resign after flipping, unlike his comely Communications Director. Then, comes Handy Andy (Borowitz) with an account of White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckledybuck and a proposed mass march to support Miss White Lies. This blogger experiences an LOL-moment with every reading of Handy Andy's "press release." If this is (fair & balanced) further corroboration of our presidency about NOTHING, so be it.
[x New Yorker]
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Organizing “Million Liars March” To Support Hope Hicks
By Handy Andy (Borowitz)
TagCrowd Cloud of the following piece of writing
The White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, said on Wednesday that she was organizing a “Million Liars March” to support her co-worker Hope Hicks.
Calling on “American liars from every walk of life” to march, Sanders said that she had already received commitments from hundreds of liars in the White House, the Cabinet, and Congress.
“These people realize what’s at stake,” she said. “It’s not just Hope Hicks’s career—it’s the lying life style itself.”
“White lies like Hope’s were the lies of a promising beginner,” she said. “If Hope had been allowed to grow as liar, I have no doubt that someday she could have been as consistent a dispenser of ginormous whoppers as I am.”
She said that, if Hope Hicks is villainized, “where will the next generation of liars come from?”
Sanders said that the Million Liars March would address other issues of importance to the nation’s liars, such as a ban on lie detectors and a mandatory waiting period before statements can be fact-checked.
At the end of her announcement, Sanders appeared to choke back tears as she swore loyalty to her embattled colleague. “I believe in the mendacity of Hope,” she said. # # #
[Andy Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University.]
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