Handy Andy delivered on the heels of the Reality TV idiocy that is constant with the current occupant of the Oval Office with the prime-time "announcement" that Brett Kavanaugh had been tapped for the SCOTUS vacancy. Kavanaugh, the author of a brief during his time as an attorney during POTUS 43's second term when there were rumblings of a possible attempt to impeach POTUS 43 proclaimed that the POTUS was immune to subpoenas and charges of wrongdoing while in office. Handy Andy picked up on this audacious assertion and reframed that brief into a competitive essay entitled "Why Trump Shouldn’t Go to Prison." No such competitive essay event exists or existed, but Handy Andy got the last laugh. The current occupant of the Oval Office hadn't read the imaginary essay, but his elder daughter had read it to him and it was "the greatest essay ever written." If this is a (fair & balanced) diagnosis of hopeless Narcissistic Personality Disorder, so be it.
[x The New Yorker]
Man Wins "Why Trump Shouldn’t Go to Prison" Essay Contest
By Andrew (Andy) Borowitz
TagCrowd Cloud of the following piece of writing
A Washington, DC, man has won a nationwide essay contest on the topic "Why Donald J. Trump Shouldn’t Go to Prison."
The man, Brett Kavanaugh, received his award for the winning essay at a ceremony at the White House on Monday night.
Kavanaugh’s essay, which was distributed to the press shortly after he was announced as the winner, reads as follows:
“Donald J. Trump should never go to prison because he is the President of the United States and the President of the United States is a very important person in the country. It would look bad if visitors from foreign countries came to the United States and asked, ‘Where is your President?’ and we had to say, ‘He is in prison,’ which in my opinion is another reason Donald J. Trump should not go to prison. For these reasons, if I am ever in a position to keep Donald J. Trump from going to prison, I will do that (keep him from going to prison).”
Shaking Kavanaugh’s hand, Trump heaped praise on him for his “very, very beautiful” essay, calling it “maybe the best essay that has ever been written.”
“I did not personally read it, but Ivanka read it aloud to me, and I thought it was fantastic,” Trump said. # # #
[Andrew (Andy) Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University (MA).]
Copyright © 2018 The New Yorker/Condé Nast Digital
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License..
Copyright © 2018 Sapper's (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves
