Friday, August 22, 2014

Fool's Words & Fool's Faces Are Often Found In Public Places

It's so tragic that it's funny. The years since Goodhair (But No Brains) became Governor of Texas in 2000 have been squandered and the Lone Star State is the poorer for that waste. In the end, Governor Goodhair (But No Brains) waived arraignment and filed pleas of not guilty to the charges of abuse of power and coercion of a public servant. Goodhair (But No Brains) skedaddled for New Hampshire in his addled pursuit of the Dumbo nomination for POTUS in 2016. The Goodhair mugshots could displace Alfred E. Neuman in the 21st century. The best thing about Goodhair (But No Brains) is that he is so stupid that he is funny (and people are laughing at him). If this is a (fair & balanced) illustration of the truth in Abraham Lincoln's observation about remaining silent, so be it.

[Vannevar Bush HyperlinkBracketed NumbersDirectory]
[1] Mugshot Follies (Dan Solomon)
[2] Goodhair's Fightin' Words (Andy Borowitz)

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[x TM]
The Internet Had A Lot Of Fun With Rick Perry's Mugshot Last [Tuesday] Night
By Dan Solomon

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Rick Perry's mugshot-heard-round-the-world was taken yesterday, and there is really almost nothing to distinguish it from any other stylish, handsome-looking headshot taken of the longest-tenured Governor of Texas. (Though he's not wearing his recently-acquired signature glasses.) He wears a dark suit and a smart blue tie, holds up no numbers, and gives a practiced headshot-taker's confident smile—they even got him from his best angle.

Even if Perry's picture really just looks like any other photo of the man, it's still the mugshot of a sitting governor with a national profile who's been a meme at least three times before—when he debuted his "Strong" ad in 2012, after a photograph in which he appears to be pouting while the rest of the table is laughing during last month's meeting with President Obama, and "oops," a joke that never seems to go away. In essence, the picture was a big, smiling target for the Internet, and the Internet was quick to take its shots.

Thus was born the Rick Perry mugshot remix, which flooded Twitter for a few hours on Tuesday night. The images ranged from the silly to the—well, to the sillier and sillier. Former Onion editor-in-chief Baratunde Thurston launched what may have been the first salvo shortly after the image hit the Internet, and it was off to the races shortly thereafter.

The images quickly went from "let's photoshop funny things onto Rick Perry's mugshot" to more surreal. New York-based journalist Dana Rasso noticed a similarity between Perry's mugshot and the headshot of "Addicted To Love" singer Robert Palmer on his greatest-hits album:

Perhaps the finest—and most complicated—mugshot meme came from conservative talk radio host Artist Angie, who put Perry in a t-shirt with Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg's mugshot (which kicked off the chain of events that led to the Governor's indictment) on it—while Lehmberg wears a t-shirt featuring an image of Macaulay Culkin wearing the t-shirt that the former child star made of Ryan Gosling wearing a t-shirt of Culkin's face. It all gets pretty meta and "Inception"-y down here on the Internet, y'all).

Ultimately, it's not hard to imagine that Governor Perry isn't getting a kick out of the attention. He's managed to challenge current title-holder Jeremy Meeks for the "handsomest mugshot" trophy, and he proudly followed-up the inconvenience of having to have his picture taken with a trip to Sandy's Frozen Custard on Barton Springs Road in Austin to cheer himself up—and, presumably, his supporters who wanted to see a defiant response from the Governor. Any day that ends with custard and countless people photoshopping a picture of you in which you look pretty good can't be that bad, ultimately. Ω

[Dan Solomon is a freelance journalist based in Austin since 2002. He writes about culture, politics, sports, and arts for Texas Monthly, The Austin Chronicle, The New York Times and Fast Company, among other publications.]

Copyright © 2014 Emmis Communications Corporation /dba/ Texas Monthly

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Fighting Words From RickPerry
By Andy Borowitz

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Lashing out at what he called the “Soviet-style” tactics of the indictments against him, Texas Governor Rick Perry said on Tuesday that the government had “grossly overstepped its traditional role of mandating transvaginal ultrasounds.”

Speaking to supporters in Austin, Perry blasted the indictments and called for a return to an era of limited government that focusses on requiring gynecological procedures.

“We are living in dark days indeed when the state of Texas is spending time and money probing its officials instead of its women,” he said, to thunderous applause. Ω

[Andy Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist  (2012). Borowitz is a magna cum laude graduate of Harvard College, Class of 1980.]

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