Letter Of The Week

I received e-mail today from the Nedster — a chum from northern OH — offering a critique of (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves. The Nedster is not affecting the Royal We, he is speaking for his chum, the Bobster. Together, those are off on a roadtrip this weekend to Chautauqua, NY for a jazzfest. Both of them are cool daddies. Real hippy, dippy, jazzmen. Get A Life? I'm hearing this from a Cubs fan and an Indians fan? No wonder these two geezers like W! Baseball men flock together. However, W usually asks after a home run: Should we kick or go for two? No comment about the geographic illiteracy about Texas: (Amarillo in the Hill Country?) (R&R trip to El Paso?) The insults to Mexico abound: wetbacks and Emilio Zapata. Remember, these guys are OLD! If this be (fair & balanced) criticism, so be it.

From: Ned Kerstetter
Date: Friday, September 19, 2003 10:25:27
To: Neil Sapper
Subject: A Massage for the downtrodden who have lived in TX too long


Here we are in OH (by we, I mean Bob Dettbarn and me) where the remnants of Isabel are visiting us with wind and rain.

We just returned from a morning at the health and fitness club (just the place you wouldn't expect to find either of us) where we swam, played beachball vollyball, worked on the exercise machines and conversed with folks even older than we.

Then we stopped at Brugger's Bagels for a baker's dozen mit schmeer and returned for coffee and . . .

Bob just finished his late morning ablutions -- sometimes known to folks as the three S's -- and he says he feels like a new man who has just gotten rid of some of the old man.

We are anxiously awaiting an hour to pass so we can eat again. Then we'll be on our way to Chautauqua to show how genuinely cool we are as we listen to geezer jazz for the weekend and eat and drink ourselves
silly.

We will be back by Sunday evening, so if you have had the chance to read this before then and still have the energy to reply, we will be happy to hear how life is going in Armadillo in the heart of W country where men are men and women are damn glad of it.

We sincerely hope you have not completely shot your wad teaching 5 sections of US survey today (we can hardly believe that is your schedule, but if anybody can do it, it's not you). Give those kids a break and take a day off and head for El Paso for a little R and R.

Bob pulled into my drive yesterday at about 3:30 EDT with a brown suede Mexican hat which caused me to jump up from my patio swing and break into the Mexican hat dance as I dropped my glass of iced tea. He looked like the hired garden help, but then I realized I don't have any wetbacks working for me; they can't find their way this far north.

When Bob and I return on Sunday he's going to stay til Tuesday when he will head for Zinzinatti to see his beloved Cubbies try to stay in the pennant race. He's been disappointed so often and for so long that he's still hoping though he knows in his heart of hearts that somehow they'll blow it. His hopes for a Cubbie and White Sox series is in the dumper again.

I introduced Bob to your blogspot and he was mightily impressed with your industry and the length and breadth of your articles, cartoons and introductory paragraphs which come over up here on Webtv in green. He also wants to advise you to stop spending so much time on the blogspot and GET A LIFE. I, of course, wouldn't be so candid. Are you getting enough facetime with your favorite bartenders. I have invited Bob to be a regular tuner-in to your spot, but he says there are more things in life than reading what the Armadillo Fair and Balanced Sapster is spending his time cranking out. And he doesn't like you picking on our esteemed, loyal leader like you do even though you dress it up, like Fox, as fair and balanced. Sheesh.

Well, amigo, we've run dry, just like the West Texas hill country, so we'll be signing off ( or singing off ) whatever the case may be (Shiner Bock).

Emilio Zapata and Marlon Brando





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