If Only The Dickster Was As F*cking Funny As Lewis Black!

Lewis Black is my favorite performer on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart." His weekly 'Back In Black' tirades are a hoot. And they make more sense than the stuff coming out of the White House and environs. In fact, I would like to turn Lewis Black loose on the Dickster to teach the Veep about F-Bombs. Lewis Black—in his HBO special—accurately described the Democrats as the "party of no ideas" and the Republicans as the "party of bad ideas." Hard to top that. If this is (fair & balanced) outrage, so be it.

[x Weekly Dig]
Lewis Black
by Nolan Gawron

Everyone's a critic when it comes to state of the world affairs, but no one speaks their mind louder and more energetically than Lewis Black. Best known for his enraged editorials on the Daily Show, Lewis' “Back in Black” segments are animated and borderline maniacal commentaries on those absurd incidents that make this world sadly laughable. The longest running Daily Show cast member, with seven years under his belligerent belt, Black is also a full-time standup comedian and a Yale graduate school playwright with over 40 plays penned and produced around the world. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Lewis Black.

How's your blood pressure?

Perfect. I get it checked about every six months.

How many years separate you and G. W. Bush from Yale?

I went to the drama school, which requires talent, and he went to Yale undergrad, which requires connections. He was already gone when I got there. Good thing for him.

Is that ranting lunatic on TV the real you?

No, my true personality is trying to get off the couch.

Who's the most fun to party with from the Daily Show?

Me. The rest of them all have their issues. Me or the interns. The rest of them are okay; they're good for an hour then they have to go home.

So Comedy Central is doing a “Win Lewis Black” giveaway...

Yeah, it's very exciting as I move from comic to whore. They called me up and asked if I mind being a prize, and I considered that a compliment. Basically, they're having a drawing at some point and then I'll have to go to somewhere that I imagine will be somewhere near a trailer park. It's funny; a lot of comics have entered the contest in hopes of winning me so that they can abuse me.

Where's your happy place? What do you do for relaxation?

I like to shoot up. No, I play golf, which is sad. It's not really a happy place; it allows me to hate myself more than I already do. It's a different place. It's the one sport you can wander around screaming.

Do you identify with those crazy people in the park who yell obscenities all day?

I secretly admire them. They've made the transition where they don't even care about an income. Somehow, along the way, I found the need to be fueled by finances. These people have kind of skipped that.

What's the last argument you lost?

I don't. I'm never conscience of losing an argument. Nobody wins or loses an argument, it's just whoever yells louder.

And I presume that's you. Okay, open forum, what's bothering you today?

Let's see what's in the paper. Living in New York is nuts. Only 48 percent of the kids graduate high school, but our main concern is apparently smoking in bars.

They just did away with it in Boston too.

There's no smoking in bars in Boston? Well, then, I won't be at the Comedy Connection. You can announce that. I really don't get it. The idea is that a bar is a little dangerous. If I need alcohol and only alcohol, I'll go to a hospital emergency room.

The other thing [bothering me] is that we had absolutely no plan for instituting a democracy in Iraq - it's beyond belief. It staggers the imagination. Yeah, we can win the war, but now they're acting like they've done such a great thing. At a certain level, yeah, we're rid of a butcher, but lord knows what we've created. We're giving them chaos and we haven't a clue. What are we going to do? Send them civics books? Voting machines from Florida? Show them how to nominate two people that are totally incompetent? It's arrogant. Thirty percent of the American public votes and you're going to tell the world that this is the best thing? Yeah, this is the best thing, but don't think you can teach it to anybody else. Thirty percent vote. Why don't you just say to everyone that the best thing about democracy is that you don't have to do it. Every time you think it's as nuts as it can get, it gets crazier. It's like being in some sort of asylum. It's like living in a really badly run high school.

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