The State of The Union Address As The Dickster Would Deliver It

Hungarian humorists? These guys nail the Dickster. I wager that this stream of expletives is typical of the dialogue between W (aka Mr. President) and the Dickster in the Oval Office. If this is (fair & balanced) salaciousness, so be it. Founded in 2001, give or take a year, Chortler.com has been at the cutting edge of erroneous news, inaccurate reporting and insight-free analysis ever since. With headquarters in Budapest, Hungary, Chortler is comprised of co-founders Sancho Glickman and Nicolas Sélenium, two of the leading pioneers in fictitious online journalism and muffler repair. Sancho and Nicolas hit it off instantly during their first encounter at a meeting for young Hungarian entrepreneurs. Indeed Nicolas recalls their first encounter vividly: “There was Sancho standing in front of me, and I remember saying to him, 'What are you doing standing on my foot, you idiot? Did you just pour wine down my shirt? That was an expensive shirt! You're going to pay for this Glickman!'”

[x Chortler.com]
Dick Cheney's State of the Fucking Union Address

(In the words of George W. Bush: “Dick Cheney could be president.”)

My Fellow Americans,

Thanks for that bitchin' ovation. You guys rock, man.

I just want to say at the start that our foreign policy kicks butt. I've replaced that wussy peace-loving goody two-shoes Colin Powell with that studmeister Donald Rumsfeld, my 98-year-old former Secretary of Defense. So what if we pissed off a few allies. Now those European pussies know their goddamn place in this world. That'll show those wankers not to dick around in something that's none of their fucking business anyway. Maybe some day they'll get the balls to do things on their own.

Now I don't want to feed you any crap on the domestic front. Our economy sucks at the moment. I know, I know, it's a pretty bullshit feeling right now. But despite what you might be hearing from those assholes in the Democratic Party things are going to pick up. Mark my fucking words. Besides those who disagree with me on that can go screw themselves.

In closing, I just want to say that there are some dickheads out there who are concerned about the state of public discourse in modern-day American government. Well, merde to that, as those French fags say. Those people can just kiss my ass.

Thank you and have a great fucking night.

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