My son, David, sent along this funny, funny parody of the GOP Convention in NYC. If this is (fair & balanced) mockery, so be it.
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE New York, NY
6:00 PM - Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM - Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
6:46 PM - Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"
7:30 PM - Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan
7:35 PM - Trent Lott - "Resegregation in the 21st Century"
7:40 PM - EPA Address #1: "Mercury: It's What's for Dinner"
8:00 PM - Voice Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"
8:30 PM - Round table discussion on reproductive rights (Men Only)
8:50 PM - Seminar #2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"
9:00 PM - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM - Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"
9:10 PM - EPA Address #2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"
9:30 PM - Break for secret meetings and cash "gifts" to Cabinet Secretaries
10:00 PM - Second Prayer led by Clarence Thomas
10:15 PM - Karl Rove Lecture: "Doublespeak and Misinformation Made Simple"
10:30 PM - Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: "How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel Squishy Inside"
0:40 PM - John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM - GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell and Condi Rice
10:46 PM - Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"
10:50 PM - Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"
11:20 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: "Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult"
11:30 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM - Session on Blaming Hilary and Bill Clinton for Everything Wrong
11:40 PM - Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"
11:41 PM - Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
11:50 PM - Closing Disinformation Session led by Karl Rove
Topic: "Putting Lipstick on a Pig"
12:00 Mid - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
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Monday, August 30, 2004
The GOP Convention Schedule In Advance
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