Golf Is The Deadliest Sin Of All

This morning in the second of my Senior University classes, Adam Blatner—Sun City resident and Senior University co-founder and retired MD (psychiatrist)—asked for class participation in his "Psychological Literacy" course. Dr. Blatner wanted some examples of motivating forces: someone offered Lust and I piped up with Greed. Blatner said that all of the Deadly Sins would serve. In my notes, I attempted to list the Seven Deadly Sins and came up with Envy, Greed (obviously), Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust. Duh! I hit a wall. Of course, Google or Yahoo came up with all seven: I couldn't remember Pride and Wrath. Then, I thought, what interesting takes on the Seven Deadly Sins could be found on the Web? The winner for me (and there were a multitude of the Seven Deadly Sins Of....) listed the deadly sins on the golf course. If this is (fair & balanced) game of opposites, so be it.

[x Detroit Free Press]
GOLF: The 7 deadly sins on the course
by Janina Parrott Jacobs

Success at golf is elusive. One moment you're there, and the next, whatever you had disappears. You don't know why -- all you know is you're slashin' and hackin' and cursin' and prayin' all in the same round.

Enter the Seven Deadly Sins. Here's how they apply to your golf game:

PRIDE: Have you ever seen a golfer so confident in his or her ability that you wish you could witness their proverbial fall?

Years ago my partner in a practice round for an important qualifier told me she needed stronger competition than I could provide. Surprised by her quasi-insult, I let the actual qualifier tell the tale: I was medalist at 74 and she shot 90-something.

Don't overestimate your abilities or underestimate your opponent. Don't play a course at tees beyond your capabilities.

ENVY: It is impossible to excel at every aspect of the golf game. While it is OK to admire a player who can smash it 290 yards, don't let it consume you. Work on accuracy with the short game.

GLUTTONY: What and when you eat can kill a golf game faster than any swing flaw. Don't think so? Eat a huge plate or two of dinner before you play, and you'll be so full and won't be able to move. One year I gained 15 pounds just by enjoying all the eat-fests at charity outings and invitationals. If I kept up that pace I'd be rolling down the fairways instead of my ball.

Lean is mean. Eat lightly or take a carry-out box so you can graze as you go.

LUST: Have you ever fallen in love and experienced the overpowering compulsion to spend every day -- every moment -- with your beloved? You couldn't get enough? Golf is no different.

Go ahead and watch the Golf Channel 24/7; read every golf article you can get your hands on and then follow every tip. Buy every new club and gadget that comes out. Spend every waking moment at the course, the range, or the golf shop.

You'll be a basket case in no time.

Remember: Less is more. Resist those lustful urges to have everything you see. Pace yourself and don't buy too many putters!

ANGER: Golf rounds are ruined by temper tantrums. No one will be impressed by the anger you display over a missed shot. Anger causes stress. Stress increases tension, which kills a golf swing. You'll get worse instead of better.

When anger creeps into your game, let the demon come but let it go away just as fast. No one is saying never to get angry; just deal with it and make it work for you. Never, ever quit.

GREED: We want that trophy. We want first prize. But sometimes wanting it too much leads to our downfall. Going for the green in two when the odds are poor, or trying to cut the dogleg when the trees are too high and the wind is against you will lead to disaster.

Be hungry enough to want to win but don't let greed consume you. Think of all the consequences before you play the shot.

SLOTH: Golf victories will not come just because you are a great person, want to win with all your heart, or are lucky. The spoils usually go to those who work hardest. When you have an important game coming up, practice.

Remember golf legend Gary Player's famous quote after he holed out three sand shots in a row to win a bet: "The harder I practice the luckier I get."

Janina Parrott Jacobs is a freelance golf writer, broadcaster and amateur golfer with a handicap of 3. Her golf column appears monthly in the Body & Mind section. Contact her care of the Free Press; P.O. Box 828; Detroit 48226; or jjacobs@glis.net

Copyright © 2004 Detroit Free Press Inc.