Tuesday, November 22, 2005

It Wouldn't Be A Thanksgiving Holiday If We Omitted The Biggest Turkey Of Them All

Dub would be funny if young people weren't dying or suffering unspeakable wounds because we have an idiot for a president. If this is (fair & balanced) hope for an end to this madness, so be it.

[x Newsweek]
Let’s Be Thankful: President Bush has much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.
By Andy Borowitz

Nov. 22, 2005 - In a special pre-Thanksgiving radio address broadcast from the White House, President George W. Bush asked his fellow Americans to join him in giving thanks for the following things:

"My fellow Americans, let's be thankful for global warming, because as these winter months approach, it makes the world such a nice, toasty place.

"Let's be thankful to Brownie for doing such a good job, even if he doesn't have it anymore.

"Let's be thankful that we live in a place like America and not in a place like China where the doors are really tricky to open.

"Let's be thankful that even though my approval numbers are falling, they're still higher than my grades at Yale.

"Let's be thankful for the Sony PlayStation Portable, which really helps you get through those long cabinet meetings when they're going on and on about the economy.

"Let's be thankful that the year is almost over and I've managed to avoid talking to Cindy Sheehan.

"Let's be thankful that John Kerry waited until a year after the election to start saying smart things about Iraq.

"Let's be thankful to Rep. ‘Mean Jean’ Schmidt (R-Ohio) for saying, 'Cowards cut and run, but the brave serve in the Alabama National Guard.'

"Let's be thankful that in nine months it will be August and then I can go on summer vacation again.

"Let's be thankful that we have such courageous men and women working at the CIA, and that we all know their names.

"And finally, my fellow Americans, let's be thankful that, even though we still haven't brought Osama bin Laden to justice, we did finally get Robert Blake."

© 2005 Newsweek, Inc.


Really Simple SyndicationGet an RSS (Really Simple Syndication) Reader at no cost from Google at Google Reader.

No comments:

Post a Comment

☛ STOP!!! Read the following BEFORE posting a Comment!

Include your e-mail address with your comment or your comment will be deleted by default. Your e-mail address will be DELETED before the comment is posted to this blog. Comments to entries in this blog are moderated by the blogger. Violators of this rule can KMA (Kiss My A-Double-Crooked-Letter) as this blogger's late maternal grandmother would say. No e-mail address (to be verified AND then deleted by the blogger) within the comment, no posting. That is the (fair & balanced) rule for comments to this blog.