Will He, Or, Won't He?

Nathanael West's Miss Lonelyhearts (1933) revolves around an unnamed male newspaper columnist who writes an advice column which is viewed by his newspaper editors as a joke. That was black humor in the Great Depression. Today, you can find all of the black humor you want these days in the real-life advice column, "Since You Asked...," in Salon. Today, Salon's "Miss Lonelyhearts" — aka Cary Tennis — offers counsel to an aggrieved, non-Dumbo voter. This blogger, has — sitting in his In Box — a solicitation from The Hopester's campaign to report to Camp Obama-Texas. This is a boot camp for "community organizers" for The Hopester. After reading Cary Tennis, this blogger is inching toward a positive reply to the Camp Obama invitation. Like Huck Finn, is this blogger willing to go to Hell, or not? If this is (fair & balanced) inaction, so be it.

[x Salon]
Since You Asked: Watching Republicans Makes Me Insane
By Cary Tennis

Dear Cary:

I need help. I just finished watching one of the most horrifying V.P. speeches in my life. My husband and I were sitting here watching the RNC so we could get some insight on who this chick is that McCain selected. As the night progressed our attitudes started to change. We were both on edge and snapping at every little thing the other did. From typing too loud on the laptop to repeating a comment made in a speech. We were at each other's throats. And all because of the spewing hatred that came from Romney, Giuliani and Palin. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? And why are sane people voting for them?!

Seriously, I cannot even stomach being around someone who claims to be a Republican. Before, I just avoided conversations with people who were of that ilk. But now ... NOW ... I want to beat some ever-loving sense into their thick stupid racist greedy selfish HEADS!

Breathe ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... I seriously have to perform Lamaze techniques when I get this worked up ... and I am not even pregnant.

I am worried that I have this much hatred building up inside of me. I am worried that it is affecting my health and my sanity. What in the hell am I going to do if Dropdead McSame and that Shrill Bitch get elected? I do not think I could handle four more years. I really, truly do not think that this country will survive another four years of this abuse!

Help me!
Don't Be Hatin' in Chicago!

Dear Don't Be Hatin',

Like Rick in "Casablanca," I am just trying to run a saloon and stay out of jail.

But what John McCain said in his speech, about the satisfaction of serving a greater cause, seems essentially true. Republicans are certainly wasting no time serving their cause. So I suggest you do the same. It will do you good, and it will play a small part in history. Put your beliefs into practice. Serving a cause does not mean believing in a cause. It means actually serving it — taking action.

To answer your question about who these people are: Strange as it may seem, they are our countrymen and countrywomen! They are our brothers and sisters, united with us by soil and idea. They are us.

They do not seem like us, do they? Well, OK, maybe they are the uncool us. Maybe they are the us that we do not like or are ashamed of. Maybe they are the repressed us, our dark side — as we are their dark side. We mirror each other. We are constituents of this thing that is the country. We exist with our opposites. It seems natural that seeming opposites should coexist and together define a nation. And yet we demonize each other!

At the risk of seeming heretical, I simply say this: We are indeed one country.

One of the things I get in trouble for among my politically minded friends is that I lack the partisan passions normally held by a person of my class and profession and affinities. I do feel apart from contemporary events. I feel like an anonymous peasant living deep in the hills, a hermit whose concerns are only about his little garden and his fruit trees and his little family and the few friends who sometimes make the arduous climb to his shack hoping for a cup of tea.

The country lurches toward catastrophe and I sit quietly in the hills. I try to keep my head down and stay out of the way.

But there are things you can do. Concrete action in the service of some greater good, as the Republicans know, purifies the soul and rids one of impotent rage. So please take whatever concrete actions you can take to support your side. Can you give money to Obama? Can you march? Can you write letters, register voters, work the polls, work phone banks, participate in e-mail fundraising campaigns? Then do so. Do these things that you can do.

Then let it go. This is not a religious war. It is just politics.

[Cary Tennis has been Salon’s advice columnist since 2001. His column appears every weekday. Tennis is a recovering alcoholic for more than two decades and he is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Tennis, who is 50-something, lives in San Francisco.]

Copyright © 2008 Salon Media Group, Inc.

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