WTF? 50 51 Words You Need To Know

This blog is proud to present a glossary for geezers: "50 Words That Kids Don't Think You Know." Of course, a major term missed the cut in a geezer-oriented publication. Absent from the list of Text Message Codes is WTF: What the F--k? If there is a favorite word among the young, it is — what they call — the "F-bomb." So, with that supplement to this list, geezers should feel free to rock and toss F-bombs at other geezers (especially one whose name rhymes with brain-drain). If this is (fair & balanced) lexicography, so be it.

[x Geezer Bulletin]
50 Words That Kids Think You Don’t Know
By Betsy Towner

“You rock!”
“Sara can’t even put down her crackberry at the dinner table.”
“Will you google directions to the store?”
“The band’s drummer is tatted out, head to toe.”
“Tim cruised Main Street, flossin’ his new wheels.”
“Omigod, Uncle Jim just friended me on Facebook.”
“Our friendship jumped the shark when you forgot my birthday.”
“Rocky road ice cream is the bomb.”
“That skier’s move was sick!”
“Doug won’t explain why he’s mad? Dude, that’s wack.”

• Online

crackberry: nickname for a BlackBerry, the addictive phone, e-mail device and general digital gadget.
google: to use a search engine, especially Google.
hit: a visit to a website.
webisode: a video short produced specifically for Internet viewing.
wikidemia: a term paper that was entirely researched on Wikipedia.org.

• Text Message Decoder

BFF: best friends forever.
IDK: I don’t know.
LOL: laughing out loud.
OMG: oh my God!
ROFL: rolling on the floor laughing.
TMI: too much information.

• Fashion

bling: sparkly jewelry, often gaudy.
tatted out: covered in tattoos.
tramp stamp: a tattoo on a woman’s lower back, designed for viewing between low-riding jeans and short T-shirts.
scooby doos: good shoes.
soul patch: a small tuft of beard under a male’s lower lip, usually with the rest of the face clean-shaven.

• Love

baby mama: the mother of one’s children, usually not a spouse.
boo: boyfriend or girlfriend.
cougar: an older woman who dates younger men.
cupcaking: engaging in a public display of affection.
flirtationship: a prolonged flirtation with an acquaintance, not involving physical contact.

• Friends

brodown: boys’ night out.
bromance: a close but nonsexual relationship between two men.
frenemy: a friend-enemy; someone close to you who often competes or hurts your feelings.
n00b: a newcomer, especially one to online gaming. Also noob, newb, newbie.
peeps: people; one’s closest friends or family.

• Music

crunk: a hip-hop genre.
disco nap: a short nap before a night out clubbing.
emo: softcore punk genre and its subculture of angsty teen fans.
mash up: To take elements of existing pieces of music, usually of different genres, and combine them in a new song; also the resulting song.

• Actions

check vitals: to monitor one’s e-mail, cell phone, voice mail and other electronics.
floss: to show off your wealth, often in a car.
friend: to add as a contact on a social networking website.
jump the shark: to have peaked and now be on a downward slide.
rock: to manifest greatness.
talk smack: to speak negatively or belittle a person, often in the heat of competition.

• Affirmations

fo’ shizzle: certainly.
obvi: obviously.
totes: totally.

• Descriptors

bomb, the: an ultimate favorite.
off the chain: the bomb.
ridonkulous: beyond ridiculous.
sick: extremely cool.
tight: fantastic.
wack: unjustifiable.

• Britishisms

chav: derogatory term for a working-class youth.
nutter: crazy person.
snog: to kiss.
T5: disorganization, like the infamous new Terminal Five at Heathrow Airport.

• The End

badonkadonk: an attractive derrière.

[Betsy Towner is a columnist for the AARP Bulletin and her columns play on 50 (the minimum age for AARP membership).]

Copyright © 2008 AARP

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