Friday, November 18, 2011

Are You Kiddin' Me?????

This blogger listened to the second half of the Jets-Broncos game last eve. It was past the blogger's bedtime, so he was listening to the radio broadcast on his bedside clock-radio. When Tim Tebo took off on 20-yard touchdown run with 58 seconds left, this blogger nearly fell out of bed. The only thing missing was a lightning bolt striking the stadium lights and a shower of sparkling lights. If this is (fair & balanced) incredulity, so be it.

Tim Tebowisms
By Tebow Fan(atic}s

Tag Cloud of the following article

created at

When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet for Tim Tebow.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Tim Tebow's sweat.

A spike in Tim Tebow stiff arms caused the tooth fairy to go broke in 1997.

You don't hit Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow hits you!

Tim Tebow’s number is 15 because that’s how many players it takes to tackle him.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Tim Tebow's forearm.

They once asked Ray Lewis if he'd like to run full speed at Tim Tebow, and he said "No".

SuperMan wears Tim Tebow Pajamas. So does Lou Holtz.

Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer

Tim Tebow gets called for roughing the tackler.

When Tebow spikes the ball, he strikes oil.

You can lead a horse to water, but Tim Tebow can make him drink.

Tim Tebow doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Tim Tebow can get breakfast at McDonald's after 10:30 A.M.

Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.

People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.

Tim Tebow's family once threw him a surprise party. Once.

Tim Tebow hits blackjack with just one card.

The only reason you're still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn't stiff-armed you in the face.

When Tim Tebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables.

Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for even HAVING a weakness.

Tim Tebow doesn't do pushups. Instead, he pushes the earth down.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Tim Tebow.

When Tim Tebow was a kid he made his mom finish HER vegetables.

Tim Tebow counted to infinity. Twice.

In the beginning there was nothing. Then Tim Tebow stiff-armed that nothing in the head and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

When life gives Tim Tebow lemons, he uses them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade.

When Google can't find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help.

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Tim Tebow. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

Tim Tebow loves women. All of them. At the same time.

What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.

Tim Tebow has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

Tim Tebow once stiff-armed a horse. That animal became what is now known as the giraffe.

Tim Tebow is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Tim Tebow is the reason Waldo is hiding.

When Tim Tebow wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

When taking the SAT, write "Tim Tebow" for every answer. You will score more than 1600.

Tim Tebow can dribble a football.

Tim Tebow was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the whooshing sound of a stiff-arm.

Tim Tebow can kick start a car. Ω

[ is an online library of jokes, arranged by category.]

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Sapper's (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves by Neil Sapper is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available here.

Copyright © 2011 Sapper's (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves

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