O, To Build A $5B Wall

Infrastructure is so yesterday. Today, the hottest public works project is an impossibly difficult construction of a solid wall (remember Berlin?) from the Pacific to the mouth of the Rio Grande. The Trumpster has ridden this madness to the top of the polls.Meanwhile, pesky Andy Borowitz reminds us that our public works priorities have become nonsensical. If this is a (fair & balanced) confirmation of national insanity, so be it.

[x New Yorker]
To Build A Wall
By Andy Borowitz

Tag Cloud of the following piece of writing

america americans billion border borowitz bridges building called canada congress country deadly decades deteriorate disagrees dollars dorrinson estimated executive extravagant far feet giant growing harland highways immigrants infrastructure keep mexicans mexico national-security overpasses projects rail reason recognizing repairs responsible roads sense somehow sound steal system think top wall washington-based years

created at TagCrowd.com

As America’s bridges, roads, and other infrastructure dangerously deteriorate from decades of neglect, there is a mounting sense of urgency that it is time to build a giant wall.

Across the U.S., whose rail system is a rickety antique plagued by deadly accidents, Americans are increasingly recognizing that building a wall with Mexico, and possibly another one with Canada, should be the country’s top priority.

Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of a Washington-based think tank called the Center for Responsible Immigration, believes that most Americans favor the building of border walls over extravagant pet projects like structurally sound freeway overpasses.

“The estimated cost of a border wall with Mexico is five billion dollars,” he said. “We could easily blow the same amount of money on infrastructure repairs and have nothing to show for it but functioning highways.”

Congress has dragged its feet on infrastructure spending in recent years, but Dorrinson senses growing support in Washington for building a giant border wall. “Even if for some reason we don’t get the Mexicans to pay for it, five billion is a steal,” he said.

While some think that America’s declining infrastructure is a national-security threat, Dorrinson strongly disagrees. “If immigrants somehow get over the wall, the condition of our bridges and roads will keep them from getting very far,” he said. Ω

[Andy Borowitz is the creator the "Borowitz Report," a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz is a magna cum laude (English) graduate of Harvard College.]

Copyright © 2015 The New Yorker/Condé Nast Digital




This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License..

Copyright © 2015 Sapper's (Fair & Balanced) Rants & Raves