Friday, August 12, 2016

Today's News Break: Stupid Candidate Donald T. (for "The") Chump Can't Handle A Good Ol' Ox-Goring

The Stupid nominee, Donald T. (for "The") Chump, is beginning to fray at the edges as the media kitchen temperatures begin to rise. Andy Borowitz cuts to the heart of the matter with a faux news report about Chump's chief complaint about media bias for reporting what he says. The most Stupid of them all in 2016 cannot resist doubling down — "If you thought that last video clip was outrageous, listen to this...." If this is the (fair & balanced) account of the pot and kettle colloquy, so be it.

[x New Yorker]
Trump Blasts Media For Reporting Things He Says
By Andy Borowitz

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The Republican Presidential nominee, Donald Trump, tore into the media on Thursday for what he called its “extremely unfair practice” of reporting the things he says.

“I’ll say something at a rally and I look out and see all these TV cameras taking every word down,” Trump told Fox News’s Sean Hannity. “No one in politics has ever been subjected to this kind of treatment.”

“It’s unbelievable and, frankly, very unethical,” he added.

At a rally in Florida, the candidate lashed out at a TV cameraman whom he caught in the act of recording his words for broadcasting purposes.

“Look at him over there, picking up everything I’m saying, folks,” Trump shouted. “Get him out of here.”

In his interview with Fox, Trump hinted that he might drop out of this fall’s televised Presidential debates if the media continues its practice of reporting the things he says.

“I’ve always said that I would be willing to debate if I’m treated fairly,” Trump told Hannity. “But if the media keeps recording everything I say, word for word, and then playing it back so that everyone in the country hears exactly what I said, I would consider that very, very unfair.” Ω


[Andy Borowitz is the creator the "Borowitz Report," a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA (English magna cum laude)from Harvard University.]

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