Thursday, November 16, 2017

This Blogger Thinks The Moron-in-Chief Doth (Virtually) Protest Too Much

The world is getting curioser and curioser. Roy (THe Molester Boy) Moore is gathering women accusers by the minute. Andy Borowitz frames the entire disgrace within a much larger national disgrace. Roy The Molester Boy is a clown seeking to replace another clown (Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III — sometimes pronounced like the word for a lump of excrement) as a US Senator from Alabama. Roy The Molester Boy has attracted eleven women (at last count) who allege Roy The Boy Molester behaved inappropriately when they were 14 or so and Roy The Boy Molester was in his late 30s. However, Borowitz imagines the Moron-in-Chief offering a defense of Roy The Boy Moldester as the victim of malicious women accusers and the zinger comes in the final few sentences of the report. If this is a (fair & balanced) proof that the 19 accusers of the Moron-in-Chief is nearly double the 11 accusers (and counting) of Roy The Boy Molester, so be it.

[x New Yorker]
Trump Warns That Dumping Roy Moore Could Start A Dangerous Trend Of Believing Women
By Andy Borowitz

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("The Borowitz Report")—Breaking his silence on Alabama’s embattled Republican nominee for the US Senate, Donald Trump warned on Wednesday that dumping Roy Moore could start a “dangerous trend” of believing women.

“I think we need to be very, very careful here,” Trump told reporters. “This is not just about Roy Moore. This is about our country deciding that we are going to start believing women, something that we have never done before.

“This is a very dangerous road we’re heading down,” he said.

Trump cautioned that, if instituted, a new practice of believing women would “totally destroy” the system that the country already has in place. “For years we’ve had a system of believing men,” he said. “It’s worked very well. It’s done a great job.”

He said that he was considering a number of measures to stem the tide of women’s credibility, including an executive order banning women from giving believable accounts to the press. “That’s something we’re looking into,” he indicated.

Trump painted a doomsday scenario of what might happen if the “very bad trend” of believing women gained traction in the country. “If people believe Roy Moore’s five accusers [currently 8 and counting], what happens to a man who has, say, about twenty accusers?” he asked. “I don’t like where this is going.” # # #

[Andy Borowitz is the creator the "Borowitz Report," a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University.]

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