Tuesday, April 17, 2018

What A Brilliant Suggestion!

As the drear days of April 2018 turn darker... to dreary, today's LOL essay by The New Yorker's Handy Andy (Borowitz) is a welcome tonic to a lot of "mildly nauseated" witnesses to the feces-storm reported daily by the MS Media. Handy Andy sticks a droll shiv in the figurative ribs of the minions of the current occupant of the Oval Office. Who needs Wile E. Coyote and the Acme Corporation? The current occupant has Amazon Inc. If this is (fair & balanced) sardonic mockery, so be it.

[x New Yorker]
Amazon Apologizes For Shipping 10,000 Copies Of The Comey Book To White House
By Handy Andy (Borowitz)

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created at TagCrowd.com

Calling it a “regrettable accident,” Amazon apologized on Thursday for shipping ten thousand advance copies of James Comey’s book, A Higher Loyalty (2018), to the White House.

Cartons of the book arrived early Thursday morning and kept coming throughout the day, until stacks of the book clogged virtually every hallway and office in the building.

Reportedly, Donald J. Trump was so incensed by the book situation that he screamed at Mike Pence while the Vice-President was in the middle of praising him, one source said.

The White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, called any speculation that Trump had ordered Comey’s book “absurd,” adding, “The President does not order reading material.”

Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, said that he had “absolutely no idea” how the ten thousand Comey books made their way to the White House, but advised Trump to follow the procedures on the Amazon Web site for returning unwanted merchandise.

“You can print up the return labels at home,” he said. “The books should be picked up and out of there in two weeks, three weeks, max.”

Bezos said that shipping the ten thousand books back to the company’s warehouse would not be overly costly for Amazon. “We get an amazing deal on postage,” he said. # # #

[Andy Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University.]

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