Unwittingly, Handy Andy (Borowitz) has divined the autocratic goals of the current occupant of the Oval Office. What's next? The occupant will begin making public appearances in quasi-military uniforms (desert in fall & winter/forest in spring & summer camo) with epaulets. The shoulder decorations will place the extra-long red neckties. The current "rallies" are rehearsals of Nuremberg equivalents (1923-1938) and the anti-immigration policies are precursors of the Nuremberg Laws (1935 and thereafter). If this is a (fair & balanced) echo of a firebell in the night, so be it.
[x New Yorker]
Trump Considering Pulling US Out Of Constitution
By Andrew (Handy Andy) Borowitz
TagCrowd Cloud of the following piece of writing
Calling it “maybe the worst deal ever,” Donald J. Trump said on Wednesday that he is considering pulling the United States out of the United States Constitution.
“I’ve seen a lot of bad deals in my life, but this Constitution is a total mess,” he said. “We need to tear it up and start over.”
Trump was scathing in his remarks about the two-hundred-and-twenty-nine-year-old document, singling out for special scorn its insistence on three branches of government. “The branches thing is maybe the worst part of this deal,” he said. “The first thing we do when we pull out of the Constitution is get rid of two of those branches.”
He also called the First Amendment “something that really has to go.”
“No one in his right mind would put something like that in a Constitution,” he said. “Russia doesn’t have it. North Korea doesn’t have it. All the best countries don’t have it.”
He stopped short of accusing his predecessor, Barack Obama, of writing the United States Constitution, but said, “He’s working hard behind the scenes trying to save it, because he knows that the Constitution is very, very bad for me.”
Vowing to replace the Constitution with “a new, much, much better Constitution,” he acknowledged that there might be some elements of the original document worth salvaging. “We’re going to keep the Second Amendment,” he said, “and definitely the Fifth.” # # #
[Andrew (Andy) Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University (MA).]
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