Tuesday, June 05, 2018

No Wonder Yankee Stadium Echoed With A Boo-Cascade When Rudy Goofierthananyofus Was Introduced On His 74th Birthday

As if the administration of the current occupant of the Oval Office wasn't wacky enough, the current occupant added Rudolph (Rudy) Goofierthananyofus to his monstrous regiment of personal attorneys. Leave it to Handy Andy (Borowitz) to imagine the coming of the nuttiest legal strategy in US legal history when the former mayor of the Big Apple gets wound up on MSM news shows. If this is a (fair & balanced) demonstration of unfettered idiocy, so be it.

[x The New Yorker]
Trump’s Lawyers Argue That He Cannot Be Impeached Because He Was Never Actually Elected
By Andrew (Handy Andy) Borowitz


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In what they believe is a legal masterstroke, lawyers for Donald J. Trump are now claiming that he cannot be impeached because he was never actually elected.

In a lengthy memo sent to the special counsel, Robert Mueller, the lawyers pushed back vehemently against any allegation that Trump was legally elected President.

“Because Russian interference made the election of Donald J. Trump wholly illegitimate, any attempt to remove him from an office that he does not legally hold is clearly impossible,” the memo asserted.

The memo claimed that the Constitution contains “no provision for removing a person from office when that person was installed there by a foreign power.”

The memo went on to argue that, if a subpoena is sent to the White House, it will be returned to Mueller and stamped “addressee unknown [emphasis supplied].”

“A person referred to in a subpoena as ‘President’ Donald J. Trump simply does not exist,” the memo claimed.

Minutes after the memo was leaked, the former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani appeared on “Fox & Friends” and proudly announced that he was its author.

“Sometimes I have to just step back and say [to myself], ‘Damn it, Rudy, you’re good,’ ” he said, beaming. # # #

[Andrew (Andy) Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University (MA).]

Copyright © 2018 The New Yorker/Condé Nast Digital



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