This Nation's Crazy Uncle Has Escaped The Attic & Made It Into The Oval Office

The TIC (Traitor-in-Chief) went into his full-blown "crazy uncle who lives in the attic" persona earlier this week at a "rally" in Tampa, FL. The Oval Office dotard in seeking to defend the ordinariness of voter ID requirements in states seeking to suppress the vote, conflated real Voter ID with an imaginary Grocery ID. This lapse likely associated with the fact that the Oral Office dotard had never experienced a grocery store checkout routne in his entire miserable life. If this is a (fair & balanced) demonstration of the need for a Mental (Sanity) ID-check at the doors to the Oval Office, so be it.

[x The New Yorker]
Millions Of Americans Denied Groceries After Failing To Provide ID
By Andrew (Andy) Borowitz


TagCrowd Cloud of the following piece of writing

abuses amazing americans andrew attempts away basis bread buy cards cashier checks circumvent cleveland coast consumer convenience daily denied dorrinson failing fanta foiled food food-id food-seeking foyler groceries id laws long-standing man millions nation pants people personnel prevent provide purchase rampant required scofflaws security store supermarket system tried years yogurts

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Millions of Americans were foiled in their attempts to purchase groceries on Wednesday after failing to provide the proper government-issued ID cards.

From coast to coast, food-seeking scofflaws were turned away from supermarkets, convenience stores, and fruit markets as they tried to circumvent the nation’s long-standing grocery ID laws.

“Given that Americans have been required to show ID to buy food for years, it’s amazing that people still try to get away with this,” Carol Foyler, a supermarket cashier in Fresno, California, said. “It’s always, ‘Oh, I left my food ID in my other pants,’ or some BS like that. Believe me, I’ve heard it all.”

In Cleveland, Ohio, a man attempting to buy a loaf of bread, two yogurts, and a bottle of Fanta tried to use another consumer’s food ID to make the purchase, but was busted by sharp-eyed security personnel.

“It’s not just people using other people’s food IDs to get groceries,” Harland Dorrinson, the store’s security chief, said. “I can’t tell you how many fake food ID.s we see in here on a daily basis.”

Dorrinson said that, although the nation’s food-ID laws have served it well, they “need to go further” to prevent rampant abuses of the system.

“Requiring people who want groceries to have a food ID is a good start, but there should also be background checks and a waiting period,” he said. # # #

[Andrew (Andy) Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University (MA).]

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