Today's Blog Post Offers A Lagniappe — Andrew (Andy) Borowitz Does Stand-Up

In today's post, a video clip of The New Yorker's Andrew (Andy) Borowitz at a recent festival offered by the magazine is a wonderful stand-up offering about Botowitz's thesis that the impeachment of The LK *Lyin' King) would bring great joy to this land. In many respects, Borowitz's stand-up excels his droll essay. But together, the essay and the video clip are an excellent elixir for a dreary day. If this is a (fair & balanced) surprise, so be it.

[x The New Yorker]
The Life-Changing Magic Of Impeaching Trump
By Andrew (Andy) Borowitz


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although amazed Americans answer Anthony asking Bannon belongs contentment culling decluttering different discovered Donald done dwelling Festival Flynn forgot fulfillment garish gave gone Hicks higher House Impeaching John joy Kondo Life-Changing Marie Nielsen possessions pretty Priebus question removed Russia Sanders--none Sarah spark talking task things tidy Trump Turkey useless White

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Andrew (Andy) Borowitz At The New Yorker's 20th Festival (2019 )

Over the past five years, millions of Americans have ascended to a higher plane of fulfillment by tidying up their homes. By talking to our possessions, one by one, and asking if they spark joy, we have achieved a kind of contentment we never dreamed possible.

Now it’s time to tidy up a residence that belongs to all of us: the White House.

At first, this seems like a daunting task. After all, the White House has a hundred and thirty-two rooms. There is much culling to be done.

But there’s no reason to despair. Many useless things have already been hauled away. Reince Priebus, John Kelly, Steve Bannon, Kirstjen Nielsen, Michael Flynn, John Bolton, Sean Spicer, Hope Hicks, Sarah Huckabee Sanders—none of them sparked joy. And now they are all gone. And Anthony Scaramucci, who sparked joy as briefly as those paisley pants you immediately regretted buying at H&M—he is gone, too.

Clearly, though, more culling remains to be done.

We must look at Donald Trump and ask ourselves, “Does this spark joy?” And, although the answer to that question might be somewhat different in Russia, North Korea, and Turkey, the answer here is a resounding no.

Remember how, once you tidied up your dwelling, you discovered hidden treasures buried under all of those needless possessions? Well, once that garish orange thing that sparks no joy has been removed from the Oval Office, you’ll be amazed what you’ll find underneath. Things you forgot you even had, like democracy.

In the video above, from last weekend’s New Yorker Festival, I speak about the happiness we can attain by decluttering the country of Trump. Much like Marie Kondo, the authors of the United States Constitution gave us a unique tool for improving our surroundings: impeachment. And the Twenty-fifth Amendment is pretty good, too. ###

[Andrew (Andy) Borowitz is the creator the Borowitz Report, a Web site that is a lot funnier than the stuff posted by Matt Drudge and his ilk. Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears regularly in The New Yorker. He is the first winner of the National Press Club's humor award and has won seven Dot-Comedy Awards for his web site. His most recent book (and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of the Year) is An Unexpected Twist (2012). Borowitz received a BA, magna cum laude (English) from Harvard University (MA).]

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